


Behind Closed Doors

by psychicdreamsandangelwings



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Carl's hurting, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, None of this is by Daryl or Rick, Not Shane or Lori friendly, Rape Recovery, Rick and Daryl are protective, Seriously there's no love for them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreamsandangelwings/pseuds/psychicdreamsandangelwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Judith comes home from a weekend at her mom's, she tells Daryl what she saw Shane doing to Carl and sets off a whirlwind of events. Rick and Daryl launch an investigation against Shane, Lori doesn't know whose side to take, Judith doesn't understand what's going on, and Carl tries not to drown as his world comes crumbling down around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on this prompt I recieved:
> 
> Daryl/Rick prompt: Lori and Shane are a couple, Rick and Daryl have custody of the kids but Lori gets them on the weekends. Daryl and Rick have noticed something's up with Carl, only to find out he's being molested by Shane. I want it mostly focused on what happens when Daryl and Rick find out.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic at all

“Carl?” Daryl asks softly, glancing over at the teenager sitting next to him in the passenger seat. Daryl can’t help but notice his body’s tense, hands clenched into tight fists, as he looks out the window. He’s been staring out the window, gaze wandering every which way, since they’d gotten into the car and it was starting to unnerve Daryl. “You okay?”

“Hm?” Carl snaps out of his daydream and turns to look at Daryl. “Yeah,” he says softly, smiling. Daryl can’t help but notice it doesn't meet his eyes. “Just tired.”

Daryl frowns, watching Carl for a few more seconds, before he shifts his focus back towards the road. The stoplight turns green and Daryl urges the car forward, mind wondering. Daryl's no genius, but he definitely knows his family and it’s clear to see that Carl’s lying to him.

The car is silent for the rest of the car ride, only the sound of Judith singing along to the radio in the back seat can be heard. A few minutes later Daryl and the kids pull up in front of Shane and Lori’s house, a decent sized white house with a wraparound porch.

Daryl parks the car and Judith unbuckles her seat belt. “Love you, Papa,” she says excitedly. Judith presses a kiss against Daryl’s cheek and hurries out of the car.

“Love you, be good,” Daryl yells after her. He watches as she runs over to where Lori and Shane are sitting on a porch swing, watching their four-year-old twins, Noah and Nathan, play together in the front yard.

Carl doesn't make a move to get out, just watches Judith run towards Lori, and Daryl takes it upon himself to bring up the conversation again. “Hey,” Daryl says, resting a hand on Carl’s shoulder, and Carl turns to look at him.

Daryl can’t tell if his mind is playing tricks on him or what but for a second it almost looks like there’s anguish in his eyes. In a matter of seconds it’s gone and a cheerful smile takes its place. Daryl doesn’t buy it for a second. “You’d tell me if there’s something wrong, right? You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”

Carl swallows painfully, like he's preparing himself for some kind of speech. It's clear he's about to talk, his mouth is open and his lips are poised to speak, but he’s cut off by a knock on the window.

Shane’s standing there, shaved head glistening with sweat from the hot sun overhead, with his arm raised towards the window. Once he's got the attention of both Carl and Daryl, Shane opens the door and nods a greeting. “Hey Daryl, Carl,” he says, smiling. “You need help bringing stuff in?”

“No,” Carl says, hostility in his voice. He throws his bag over his shoulder and pushes past Shane, none to nicely. Daryl’s surprised, shocked really. He’s never heard Carl talk to someone like that, especially not to Shane. He’s always had some kind of respect for the man, despite the fact that he’s basically the one who broke up his parents’ marriage.

A look of rage crosses Shane’s features, gaze trained straight at Carl’s retreating figure, and Daryl narrows his eyes. He doesn't like that look on Shane's face, especially not when it's directed at his kid.

“Teenagers,” Shane says with a chuckle, shaking his head nonchalantly as if they were suddenly two dads playfully bashing their children together. Daryl’s got to fight back the urge to punch him. “Think they’re better than everyone.”

“Yeah,” Daryl says, giving Shane a forced smile.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Shane says, resting a hand on the hood of Daryl’s car as he bends down so he can see Daryl clearly. “On Sunday, can you pick the kids up a little bit earlier? We’re having a birthday dinner for the twins with my parents, you know how they feel about Carl and Judith.”

Daryl can tell that Shane’s tone is meant to be light, dismissive, but all it does is make him want to put him in a choke hold. Those were Daryl’s kids he was talking about, referring to them like they were nothing more than unwanted guests, and Daryl can feel his protective side start to emerge.

He figures Shane cares about them, even if it’s in some twisted way that makes no sense to anyone but him, but Shane doesn’t see them as an extension of his family, at least not anymore. He did back when Lori and Rick had first gotten a divorce, when the two of them had been locked in a wicked custody battle over Judith and Carl. Judith had only been a baby and Shane, and Lori really, had been convinced he was Judith's biological father. It'd been a possibility, after all Lori had cheated on Rick before she had gotten pregnant, but thank God she had been Rick's kid.

During the custody battle Shane testified in Lori’s favor, claiming she deserved full custody despite the fact she was crazy as a loon. But Lori wasn't fit to be a full time mother, wasn't fit to be much of anything really, and Rick had been granted custody. Afterwards, she’d gotten help, turned her life around, and her and Rick were able to work out an informal custody agreement where she got the kids on the weekends.

Daryl reckons Shane had cared about Judith and Carl in the beginning, when he had no kids of his own and was hell-bent on taking Rick's place. But once those twins were born, Daryl had watched his position change. They’re biologically his, you couldn't blame him for feeling differently. He just hated how Shane had tossed Judith and Carl to the side, like they were nothing but some seasonal fling. Daryl would never do that to them, could never do that. Those were his kids just as much as they were Rick's, and he'd be around even if he and Rick broke up.

Shane wasn't outright about his favoritism, he's careful enough to include Carl and Judith most of the time, and generally does a good job of looking like a caring step dad. But then there were times like these, where he purposefully excluded Judith and Carl from family events. In Daryl’s opinion, you don’t exclude your kids from their half-brother’s birthday dinner simply because your parents don’t like them. He didn’t understand it, would never understand it, and he can’t understand why Lori went along with it every year.

“Sure,” Daryl says, fake smile effortlessly shifting into place. “I’ll tell Rick to be here ‘round two, if that works for ya.”

“Perfect,” Shane says. He taps his hand against the hood of the car and steps back. “Thanks Daryl, see you Sunday.”

“Yep,” Daryl says, and Shane shuts the passenger side door. Daryl watches as Judith and Carl trudge inside, frown on his face. There was something definitely wrong with Carl, and he was going to find out what.

* * *

Carl steps inside the house, mind still reeling from what had happened in the car. He watches Judith, Nathan, and Noah head straight for the backyard, laughing and giggling as they chase after each other. It’s a reminder of why he puts up with what Shane does to him, of why he keeps it a secret. With Shane's focus on him, he doesn't need to go after them. He's keeping this secret to protect them, after all that’s his job. Not that he thinks Shane would go after them, Carl knows they’re too young. But in a few years, when they age up a little, who knows what’ll happen.

His Mom heads towards the kitchen, probably to start dinner, and Carl turns down the hall towards his bedroom. He’s almost there when he feels familiar hands on him, gripping at his skin hard enough to leave finger shaped bruises. Really he should have been expecting it, Shane doesn’t take kindly to disrespect and he’ll definitely see what Carl did in the car as disrespect.

Carl’s slammed against the wall with a loud thud, force of impact shaking the decorations above his head. He rams into the wall, back erupting in pain. His entire body feels like it’s on fire, and Carl has to bite back a scream.

“Carl are you okay?” Lori calls from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he calls back, no need to incite worry within her. The last thing he needs is for her to come investigate. “Just tripped.”

“Be more careful next time."

Carl’s about to say something back when he feels one of Shane’s hands clamp tightly over his mouth, stopping any words he was about to say. Panic rises in Carl, his eyes going wide as fear grabs ahold of his heart.

“If you ever pull that shit again in front of anyone, I will make you regret it. You don’t disrespect me like that,” Shane growls, face merely inches away from Carl’s. "You fucking piece of shit, you always screw everything up. Do you want to make this worse on yourself, are you trying to make me angry?"

 His breath carries an overwhelming stench of alcohol, these days Shane consumes copious amounts of alcohol, and Carl’s finding it harder and harder to breath as Shane’s arm remains on his windpipe. He has to physically fight back the urge to pull away from his touch, he knows it’s always worse if he pulls away.

Carl shakes his head, too afraid to say anything. He tries to speak but Shane’s forearm is pressed against his windpipe, his other hand clamped tightly over his mouth, making it hard for him to do anything. Carl knows he’s about to run out of air when Shane’s hands move from his neck to his hips, gripping them tightly.

Carl takes a deep breath, trying to hide his heavy breathing, and eventually gets his breathing under control. Their bodies are flush against each other, Carl can feel every disgusting inch of his body against his, and he’s finding it hard not to pull away.

“Good,” Shane growls, low enough so that no one else can hear him. He digs his fingernails into the skin that covers Carl’s hips, hard enough to draw blood. His eyes roam over Carl’s face, and suddenly he comes to a realization. “You were gonna tell him, weren’t you? You were going to tell Daryl everything.”

Carl shakes his head frantically, the last thing he wants is for Shane to think he was about to tell Daryl what’s been happening to him, but he can tell Shane’s not buying it. He’s a cop, he knows when people are lying.

“You’re lying,” Shane says, his voice getting dangerously low and that’s when Carl knows just how pissed off he is. “Do I need to remind you what’ll happen if you tell anyone? Daryl and Rick, you like living with them don’t you?”

“Please,” Carl says, swallowing painfully. “I-”

“Save it,” Shane says, pulling away from him. “I can’t stand to be near you anymore. I'll deal with you later, make sure you’re ready. Now go, I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the day.”

Carl doesn't say another word, just frantically clambers away from him, and heads towards his bedroom door. In a matter of seconds he’s in his room with the door slamming shut behind him.

“Stop slamming the damn door,” Shane yells at him, but Carl can’t find the energy to care. His heart is hammering in his chest so hard it hurts and he can feel his palms start to sweat.

Carl rests against the closed door, trying to regain his breath. He can hear Shane walk into the kitchen, can hear his ‘loving father’ voice kick on as he talks to his mother, and suddenly he has the urge to vomit. How he could he act so innocent in front of so many people when he did such horrible things to him behind closed doors he’d never understand.

Carl had been so close to confessing to Daryl what’s been going on for months now, so fucking close to relaying to him the hell he’s been through, but Shane had shown up and ruined everything. He now remembered why he couldn't tell anyone, not ever. If Shane ever found out he had told he’d make life a living hell, both for him and the people he cared about.

He’d just have to deal with it, let Shane do whatever the hell he wanted to him, in order to protect the people he loves. He can’t risk the possibility of something horrible happening to his siblings, something happening to Daryl or his dad, or losing his mother if anyone found out. He'd just have to take it; he could take it. Right?

* * *

Daryl picks the kids up on Sunday, right on time. Rick’s usually the one who does it, but he’d been unexpectedly called into work a little over an hour ago. Judith and Carl are outside waiting for him when he gets there. He honks to get their attention and the two of them start heading towards his car.

It doesn't take a genius to realize something’s wrong with the both of them. Judith doesn't look up from her shoes the entire walk from the front steps to the car, and Carl’s gait looks wonky and lopsided. “Hey,” Daryl says once they get in, to which he receives less than enthusiastic responses.

“Hey,” Judith says, voice sounding so dejected it nearly makes Daryl’s chest hurt.

Carl doesn't say anything, just twitches his lips into what’s supposed to be a smile before he turns his gaze towards the window.

Now Daryl knows he’s not the best when it comes to picking up people’s emotions, but he does know Judith and Carl and he can tell something is definitely wrong. “Something wrong, Judith?” Daryl asks, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

She only shrugs before she turns towards the window, not making another sound. Daryl frowns, but doesn't make a move to get her to talk. He’d have Rick try and talk to her once he got home, he’s usually better at getting the kids to open up.

“Carl you okay?” Daryl asks, glancing over at the kid sitting in the passenger seat.

“I wish you would stop asking me that,” Carl says, his voice breaking off at the end. Daryl can tell it’s not meant to be hostile, but that doesn't make him feel any better about it.

“Alright,” Daryl says, turning his focus back towards the road. “I’ll leave you alone then.”

The ride after that is silent, Judith isn't even singing along to the radio. Clearly something had happened this weekend, and Daryl would be damned if he let his kids suffer through this alone. He’s going to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

* * *

Daryl’s been by himself since the three of them had gotten home, Rick’s still at work and neither one of the kids had come out of their rooms. It’s usual for Carl to lock himself in his room, the kid hardly ever came out these days, but Judith’s never acted like this before. He can’t get the look she’d had on her face when she’d gotten in the car out of his head, it’s the only thing he can think about, and he knows it means something horrible had to have happened.

Once it hits five o’clock with no word from Judith, Daryl figures he’s got to check on her. Usually by now she was all over him, begging him to play candy land or asking what they’re having for dinner, but he hasn't seen her since they'd gotten home. He’d been trying to give her some space, let her work herself out of the mood she was in, but clearly that had been the wrong call.

Daryl makes his way upstairs, heading directly towards Judith’s room. He passes by Carl’s room on his way, the loud sound of Carl’s music can be heard from the hallway, and decides he’s going to try and have another conversation with him once he’s done talking to Judith.

“Hey Jude,” Daryl calls out, knocking on her bedroom door hesitantly. When there’s no answer he pushes open the door and finds her sitting at the table in the corner of the room. There’s half colored drawings all over the table and the floor around her, at least twenty of them scattered in disarray, and Daryl frowns.

“Judith,” Daryl tries again, but still Judith doesn't answer him. He’s got half a mind to call Rick, tell him to get his ass home, because Judith only got like this when something was seriously wrong.

Daryl walks further into the room and catches sight of the drawings scattered around her. The pictures are dark and angry, not the usual colorful pictures she drew, and it’s hard to clearly distinguish what they are. Daryl picks one up off the floor and studies it a bit closer. There’s a picture there, but it’s hard to make out under the red scribbles that take up almost the entire page.

“Judith, what’s the matter?” Daryl asks, kneeling next to her. Judith’s at the table, new drawing sitting in front of her. She’s got a red crayon in her hand, scribbling so hard it ends up breaking under the force. Judith stares at it for a few seconds before she lets it fall to the ground, turning to face Daryl.

Daryl catches sight of her face and his heart breaks when he realizes she’s crying, thick tears pouring down her cheeks. Suddenly he’s got an armful of crying eight-year-old clinging tightly to him, her face buried in his chest as she tightens her grip around his neck.

“Papa,” she sobs, voice hitching as she tries to hold back her tears. He’s never seen her like this, terrified and sobbing, and suddenly every protective instinct in Daryl is flaring up.

“Shh,” he hushes softly, hands smoothing up and down Judith’s back in an attempt to get her to calm down. “S’alright baby, yer okay. Can ya tell me what’s wrong?”

Judith shakes her head frantically, her sobs getting more out of control. “No, I can’t,” she says, voice almost pleading with him not to ask again.

“Hey,” Daryl says, voice gentle. He has every intention of figuring out what’s wrong with his daughter, but right now he knows getting her to calm down is more important than anything. “Yer alright, jus' calm down.” They sit like that for a few more minutes, Judith sobbing into Daryl’s neck as he runs his hands up and down her back.

Eventually Judith’s shaking subsides and she stops crying. It’s a while before she speaks again, her voice raw from all the crying she’s been doing. “I saw a bad thing today,” Judith whispers, voice so quiet Daryl can hardly hear her. “A really bad thing.”

Daryl frowns, slightly confused, but he knows asking her right now isn't going to accomplish anything. It’d most likely send her back into her sobbing fit. “You know ya can tell me anything, even if ya think it’ll get you in trouble? I’ll never be mad at you, Judith.”

Daryl can feel Judith nod against his chest and he pulls back slightly so he can look at her. Daryl smiles softly and swipes his fingers over her cheeks, trying his best to wipe at her tears. “When you see bad stuff happening, you have to tell a grown up so they can help ya. Keepin' secrets will only make everythin' worse.”

“I don’t want to get in trouble,” Judith says softly.

Daryl sighs, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “Yer not in trouble, no matter what. How ‘bout we go downstairs, I get ya some milk and cookies, and you tell me what ya saw?” Daryl realizes it’s probably not a good idea to bribe his kid with milk and cookies, but right now he’d do just about anything to get Judith to talk.

Judith takes a long time to answer but finally she nods her head. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Daryl says, standing up. He helps Judith up and she automatically grabs on to his hand. The two of them head downstairs and into the kitchen. Daryl gets Judith situated on a stool at their island counter, before he pours her a glass of milk and grabs a couple of cookies. He sets the cookies and milk down in front of her, before sitting on the stool beside her.

She doesn't talk right away but Daryl’s okay with that, he can be patient. He watches as Judith absentmindedly chews on a cookie. She’s almost entirely finished with it before she finally starts talking. “I don’t want you to get mad,” Judith says softly.

“I won’ get mad at ya, baby,” Daryl says honestly. “Yer not in trouble, okay? I jus' need to know the bad thing you saw today.”

“You told me that if anyone ever touches me down there,” Judith says after a few seconds of complete silence, “that I should tell someone, right?”

Daryl feels ice flow through his veins and dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He clenches his fists tightly together, fingernails creating half-moons on the palms of his hands, as he tries to get control of his emotions. If anyone had touched Judith, had even thought about touching Judith, he’d kill them.

“Did someone touch you?” Daryl asks, bile rising in the back of his throat at the very thought of something like that happening. He’s trying to keep his voice calm, not wanting Judith to think he was mad at her, but his body is so tight and tense he can hardly sit still.

Judith shakes her head frantically, and for a second Daryl is relieved. But that's when her eyes start darting around the room, not able to focus on anything, and he knows there’s something she’s not telling him. “Jude, why don’ you jus' tell me what ya saw okay?”

Judith nods and looks down at the table. “I was supposed to be outside playing,” Judith says softly. “I wasn't supposed to go inside. Mommy took Nathan and Noah to the store, I couldn't go 'cause you were going to be there soon, and Shane told me to go outside. He said he had to talk to Carl in private and that I wasn't to go inside for any reason.”

Judith stops for a second and dread settles in Daryl’s stomach once more. He’s got a feeling he knows exactly what Judith is about to tell him, and it isn’t good. “I was outside for a long time but I got thirsty. I know I wasn't supposed to go inside, Shane gets mad when I don’t listen, but I just wanted a drink of water Papa, that’s it.”

“Hey,” Daryl says. He can tell Judith’s near hysterics again so he scoots a little closer to her and runs a hand through her hair. “It’s okay, you’re not in trouble.”

“I snuck in and was almost to the kitchen when I heard arguing coming from Carl’s room. I shouldn't have spied, but I just wanted to see if Carl was okay. I peeked into the room. They were yelling and Carl tried to get away, but Shane grabbed his arm so he couldn't. He hit him and pushed him down onto the bed and then, and then Shane,” Judith’s voice breaks off, hitching as she tries to calm herself down.

“You’re doing okay,” Daryl says softly, rubbing a hand down Judith’s back. He’s got a good idea of where this was going and despite the fact that Daryl wants nothing more than to find Shane and beat his face in, he’s got to hear the full story. “Yer okay, 'm not mad, jus' tell me what happened next.”

“Shane pulled down Carl’s pants. He tried to get away but he couldn't, Shane wouldn't let him,” Judith says, breaking down once again. Daryl pulls her into his lap and Judith buries into him, clinging to him like a life line. Daryl’s about to call the whole thing off, he’s got a good idea of what happened next but Judith continues.

“He started touching Carl and Carl fought him,” Judith said, voice broken up with the sound of her tears. “Shane was hurting Carl and I didn’t do anything, I just ran. I got scared, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Daryl says, pressing his face against Judith’s hair. “You did what ya had to do, that’s not yer fault.” He’s disgusted to think that Shane had been molesting Carl, hurting him in ways that nobody would ever understand, but he’s even more disgusted that Judith had witnessed it.

“I ran back outside,” Judith continues, clenching her fists against Daryl’s t-shirt. “Carl came outside later. He looked really sad so I hugged him hard and he started crying, I didn’t want to tell him what I had seen. He was pushing me on the swing when Shane told us you were on your way.”

Daryl closes his eyes tightly once he realizes Judith is done with her story, trying to keep back the images he suddenly has in head. He was fuming, angrier than he has ever been before. To think that Carl is being molested makes bile rise up in the back of his throat, to think he’s being molested by a man who was supposed to protect him is even worse. He had willingly dropped Carl off at Shane and Lori’s on Friday, even though he knew there was something going on with Carl, this was his fault.

Daryl’s angry and frustrated and upset. He wants to hunt Shane down, beat his face in for doing what he's done, but mostly he’s angry at himself. He should have seen this, should have recognized the signs and put everything together himself. The thought had never crossed his mind, not for a second, that the reason Carl had been so distant lately was because he’s being molested.

Suddenly, everything makes sense. Carl’s behavior has changed drastically over the past couple of months. He and Rick had talked about it, had tried to come up with reasons why, but ultimately they had just chalked it up to being a teenager. Oh how fucking wrong they had been.

Carl’s been angry and withdrawn lately, hardly socializing with anyone at home. He’s always locked away in his room, he doesn't go out with his friends anymore, and sometimes it’s nearly impossible to get him to come downstairs for dinner. He’s been acting out at school, he hardly interacts with his family anymore, and his grades were slipping. Now that Daryl thinks about it, he should have figured this out long ago. Carl’s been crying out for help for months now and nobody had seen it.

“Is Carl in trouble?” Judith asks, pulling Daryl out of his internal monologue. “I don’t want him to be in trouble.”

“No,” Daryl says, voice probably a little harsher than he actually meant it to be. “No baby, he’s not, and neither are you. I need you to do something for me, though. Go play in your room, I’m gonna talk to Daddy at the station, okay?”

Judith nods and hugs Daryl’s neck tightly. “I know you’ll protect Carl,” she says and Daryl forces a smile.

“Yeah, baby, I will. Go play, okay?” Judith nods and presses a kiss against Daryl’s cheek before she heads off upstairs. Talking about what she had seen seems to have lifted some kind of weight off her shoulders, and Daryl’s happy to see that. She’s way too young to be dealing with shit like this.

Daryl takes a few minutes to get his head screwed on right before he does anything. He’s angry, beyond pissed, and every bone in his body is aching to go find Shane. But he knows he needs to maintain a level head, this needs to be handled right. He wants to make Shane pay for what he’s done to his son, and he’s not going to let Shane get away with this, but he can’t just go and attack Shane outright.

Once Daryl’s calm enough, he heads upstairs towards Carl’s room. He takes a deep breath, making sure he’s absolutely calm, before he knocks. Carl gives a quiet, “come in,” and Daryl opens the door.

“Hey,” Daryl says, resisting the urge to say anything right there. He needs to tell Rick what’s going on before he talked to Carl. “I’m going out, won’t be gone long though. Will you keep an eye on your sister for me?”

Carl’s curled up on his bed, notebook open in front of him, when he looks up at Daryl. “Sure,” he says, smiling.

“Thanks,” he says, softly smiling. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

Daryl’s almost out the door when he hears Carl’s voice once more.

“Um, Daryl? About today, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you; I know you’re just trying to help. I’ve just been going through some stuff lately, but I’ve got it handled now. Don’t worry about me,” Carl says, and Daryl’s heart breaks a little more.

“You know you can come to me with anything, right kid?” Daryl asks. He so badly wants to bring up what Judith had told him, but he needs to talk to Rick first. “I love you and if someone is causing you problems I’ll always be here.”

“I know, Daryl, and that means a lot to me,” Carl says, and Daryl smiles softly.

“Alright, kid, thanks again,” Daryl says, stepping back into the hallway.

His mind is racing; he can’t focus on anything. He’s so angry, he physically has to keep himself from driving over to Shane’s and putting an end to the pathetic excuse for a human being. The only thing that prevents him from doing so is the possibility that he'll end up fucking everything up and ruin their chances of getting Shane thrown in prison. He’s got to think logically about this, the last thing he wants is for him to do anything that jeopardizes their case against him.

Daryl doesn't show just how angry he is until he’s outside, until he knows he can’t be heard from Judith or Carl. He lets out an angry groan and punches the siding of their house, trying to relieve some pent up anger. Pain shoots through his fingers and Daryl’s sure his hand is going to hurt for the next couple of days, but he right now he couldn’t care less. Daryl shakes out his hand and climbs into his car. He takes a deep breath before he pulls out of their driveway and heads towards the police station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented, kudo'd, etc, it really means a lot.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic at all

Rick’s tired, his back is killing him, and all he wants right now is to go home and spend time with his family. He's been here for hours and it's supposed to be his day off, but of course he's got to clean up the mess a rookie created when he arrested the wrong person. He’s been working a lot lately, crime in their small Georgia town is on the rise for some ungodly reason and a lot of officers had left the force recently.

Rick’s been forced to pick up the slack and clean up the messes from some of their new officers and he's really getting sick of this shit. He’s been called in to help out more times this year than he has nearly the entire sixteen years he’s been on the police force, something that still blew Rick’s mind. He hardly spends any time with Daryl or their kids these days and lately he’s been feeling like the worst husband/father.

Rick's sitting at his desk, filling out the last report he has before he can go home, when there’s a knock on his office door. “Come in,” he says, looking up as Daryl walks in He can tell something wrong instantly as Daryl carefully shuts the door behind him.

Rick’s surprised to see him and he can’t stop the frown that crosses his face. He looks tense, guarded, like something horrible had happened and Rick instantly starts to worry. It’s not that he isn’t happy to see him. Daryl’s face is always a welcome sight, especially when he’s had such a stressful day at work. Seeing him always helps to relieve some of the tension he’s feeling, and Rick can’t be any more grateful for that than he is. But the only reason Daryl would show up here without any warning is if something had happened, and suddenly he’s finding it hard to breathe. “Hey,” Rick says, trying not to throw up as his heart starts to pound. “What are you doing here?”

The look in Daryl’s eyes only solidifies Rick’s fears and his heart starts to pound even harder in his chest. A thousand scenarios flash through his mind of what could have happened, each one of them worse than the next, and dread starts to settle in the pit of his stomach. “What’s wrong?” Rick asks, eyebrows knit in worry. “You okay? Are the kids okay? Daryl what the hell is the matter?”

Daryl sighs and sits down in the chair across from him. He’s slumped over, thumbs twiddling absentmindedly, and Rick’s worry only piques. Daryl’s reaction sets warning signs off in his head and Rick’s now gripping the arms of his chair tighter than he’s ever gripped anything. He can read Daryl’s body language better than he can read anyone’s, the two of them had been together for almost seven years now, and he can definitely tell that Daryl’s dreading whatever it is he has to tell him.

“Before I tell you,” Daryl says, and Rick’s blood pressure is already shooting up. Nothing good ever comes out of a sentence that starts like that. “I need you to promise me you’re going to remain calm.”

“If that’s what you’re opening with than something terrible has happened,” Rick says, clasping his hands tightly together. “Tell me what happened.”

“I picked the kids up from Lori’s today,” Daryl starts off, his words slow and calculated, “and somethin' jus' seemed... off. Judith wasn’t herself. She was quiet and withdrawn, she locked herself in her room for hours and didn’t come out. When I went in to check on her I realized she’d been drawin' pictures, lots of pictures, but scribblin' them out afterwards. They just looked so angry, I've never seen her draw anythin' like that. Not even when her best friend was in that accident and in the hospital for two weeks.”

Daryl stops there, trying to find the words to say, and Rick's got the worst feeling right now. “Finally I got her to tell me what happened. Today,” Daryl stops and Rick sees a flash of fury cross Daryl’s eyes, unlike any he’s seen before. He’s seen Daryl when he’s angry, but he’s never seen him like this before. He's got fire in his eyes and Rick can literally see the barely contained rage he's feeling. “Today she saw Shane smack Carl around before he forced himself on him. I don’t know how far it went, or what exactly he did to him, but she saw him touch him. Honestly I don't think she really understands what happened, but that’s what she described to me.”

Rick’s frozen, he can’t move. The thought of Shane molesting his son has never crossed his mind, has never even made an inkling of an appearance, and suddenly he’s feeling rage like he’s never felt it before. It feels like someone's hooked a hook in his navel and is jerking up, making his stomach jolt. The thought of someone touching his kid like that, _touching his kid_ _in front of his sister like that_ , angers him more than anything.

“Shane touched my kid?” Rick says, voice as cold as ice. He’s doing his best to remain calm, keep his anger in check, but inside his emotions are raging. Daryl nods and Rick’s out of his chair in seconds. He slips on his coat, makes sure he has his car keys in his pocket, and stars heading across his office before Daryl’s even out of his chair. Rick’s dead set on finding Shane, dead set on beating him within an inch of his life. He’s gonna find that fucker and pound him into the ground. Nobody fucks with his kids, absolutely nobody.

“Rick,” Daryl calls after him but Rick ignores him, too intent on his target to let Daryl distract him. Apparently Daryl’s got other ideas because he’s between Rick and the door in an instant, hand gripping his wrist tightly to prevent him from turning the door knob. “Babe, stop it. You’ve got to keep calm.”

“Get out of my way, Daryl,” Rick growls, gritting his teeth. He tries to shake out of Daryl’s strong grip, but he’s got his wrist in his hand like a vice. “I love you to death, but if you get in my way I will knock you out of it.” He loves this man, would do anything for him, but right not he’s not gonna hesitate to knock him out if that’s what he has to do to get to Shane.

“No,” Daryl says, hands pushing Rick back. “I get what you’re feeling, hell I’m feeling the same thing. That bastard touched our kid, has probably been touching him for a couple of months now, and my skin is itching with the need to get at him.” Rick doesn’t doubt it. There’s been cold fury in Daryl’s eyes since the moment he walked through the door, and he finally understands why Daryl’s so angry right now.

“But that’s not the way to go,” Daryl continues, voice calm. “You want to make Shane pay, so do I, but Carl’s gonna need both of us if he’s going to get through this. You can’t be there for him if you’re locked up for killing him. Judith and Carl both deserve the right to see their dad every day without having to visit the local petitionary. We can’t afford to fuck this up, _I’m not going to let you_ fuck this up.”

“Shane has been touching our son, forced himself on Carl in front of his little sister, and you want me to sit still?” Rick says, his teeth gritted.

“Yes,” Daryl says, and Rick growls at him. “Carl needs you, he fucking needs you Rick, and I’m not going to let you do something drastic that will prevent him from getting to have you in his life. We have to do this right, we've got to make sure Shane pays for this. First we have to talk to Carl, get the facts straight from him, and then we’ll get a squadron together and you can arrest his ass yourself. That’s the smart thing to do. Shane gets his, and Carl and Judith still have their Dad. Carl’s gotta be hurting, and right now he needs you more than he needs anything. I know what he's feeling, no one was there for me when my Dad beat the shit of me. I didn't have a support system, no one I could turn to, and I'll be damned if I let that happen to Carl. He deserves better than that.”

Rick sighs and runs his free hand down Daryl's face, providing a little bit of comfort without looking like he's pitying him. Daryl's never liked being pitied. Daryl's past isn't pleasant, he and Daryl have had long talks about all the fucked up shit his father did to him, and even though his father never molested him, he's the only person who really knows what Carl's going through right now. He gets where Daryl's coming from, he really does, but he can't help the feeling he's got. Every nerve within him is telling him to go after Shane, and it's hard enough for him to stay in place.

Rick’s mind is racing, playing over every scenario in his head that he can. He doesn't like it, but he’s got to admit Daryl’s right. What Carl needs more than anything else right now is to know that he’s got family that love him, and Rick can’t show him that if he’s locked up. He doesn't like it, wishes that there was something else he could do, but right now he’s gotta let the law play itself out.

“They’re not gonna let me do the arrestin’,” Rick says, starting to pace the room. “They’ll say I’m too close to this. I’m not gonna be able to work on this case at all, not if we want this case to stick.”

Rick can feel Daryl’s eyes on him, watching him pace back and forth. “I just- I can’t believe Shane would do something like this. The guy’s an ass and I can’t stand his guts, but I’d never peg him as a child molester. He's always loved Carl and Judith, treated them like his own. Why would he do something like this?” Rick asks, turning to face Daryl. Not that he doesn't believe Carl, he’s not going to be one of those asshole parents who don’t believe when their kids are telling them something horrible has happened. It’s just shocking to him.

"Why does anyone do anythin'?" Daryl asks, looking up at Rick. He's leaning against the door, probably afraid Rick's gonna try and push past him, with his arms crossed. "I doubt we'll ever know why he's done what he has, but that doesn't matter. All that matters right now is makin' sure he pays for what he's done. 'm gonna make sure he pays for what he's done."

Rick sighs and runs a hand down his face. “How did we not know this?” Rick asks, stopping to turn and face Daryl. “How could we not notice that something like this was going on? He’s our son, we’re supposed to pick up on stuff like that. He’s been moody, getting into fights at school, he hasn't been wanting to go to his mom’s, and he’s withdrawn himself from us. It’s almost textbook and we didn’t pick up on it.” Rick doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself for not noticing earlier.

Daryl walks across the room and stops in front of Rick. “Carl’s good at hiding it, Rick, we never would have found out unless he told us himself. On Friday when I dropped the kids off at Lori’s, I could tell that something was wrong. Carl was 'bout to tell me somethin', but Shane showed up and Carl closed himself off. I should have demanded he tell me right then and there, this whole thing with Judith could have been avoided.”

“Maybe,” Rick says, bringing his arms up and around Daryl. He sighs, resting his forehead on Daryl’s shoulder. “He might not have even told, you can’t blame this on yourself.”

Daryl humphs, shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe, maybe not.”

Rick doesn't push it. They were both going to blame themselves, probably always would, and nothing he said right now was going to change that. “I’m worried about Carl,” Rick says after a few seconds of silence. “He’s been going through hell these past couple of months and we didn’t realize it.”

Daryl rests a hand on the back of Rick’s head, carding his fingers through his hair. “He’ll be okay, we’ll make sure of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you're all enjoying this so far.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: There's a brief flashback in the very beginning of this that suggests rape, read the first two paragraphs at your own risk. You can definitely skip them if it may be too triggering for you. Beyond that, mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic

_There’s hands, hands all over him. Touching, pinching, slapping. All Carl feels is hands, Shane’s hands, roaming and grabbling and scratching at his skin until it’s red and painful and he can’t stand it. He tries to pull away, struggles and tries to scream for help, but Shane pulls a knife and holds it to his throat. Threatens him, threatens Daryl and his Dad, and Carl doesn’t have the energy to fight anymore. He’s gotta protect his family, he’ll do anything to protect his family._

_Soon enough there’s lips and tongue and teeth, licking and biting at his skin until it’s red and inflamed and hurting. There’s no comfort, only pain, and Carl figures he’d be screaming, begging for it to stop, if only his voice would work, if only he wasn’t so damn terrified. His clothes disappear, leaving his naked skin exposed. Shane’s hands grip his hips, leaving bloody imprints in the shape of half-moons, and Carl knows what’s about to happen, knows it’s gonna hurt like a bitch. There’s a thrust of pain, Carl’s mouth opens to scream but Shane puts a stop to that by clamping his hand tightly over his mouth. He feels bile rise in his throat, and he has the urge to-_

A knock on his door startles him out of his flashback. Carl shakes his head and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, as he tries to get the images to leave him. He can’t seem to forget, he can never forget, and his mind wanders to flashbacks of what’s been happening to him every damn day.

Carl’s trying to get some of his homework done, not that he could get much done when his mind kept slipping to other things. He figures the knock had to be his dad or Daryl, he heard cars pull up so he knows the two of them are back now. He’s not in the mood to talk to anyone, too preoccupied with trying to straighten up his hellish life, but he’s already pushed his dad and Daryl away far enough. He doesn’t want to do it anymore.

“Come in,” he says, not taking his eyes off of the work in front of him. He figures they just want to tell him dinner’s ready, he’ll tell them he ain’t hungry and after trying to get him to come eat to no avail they’ll leave. Then he can try and get his head screwed on straight. He knows he’s been acting weird, knows that Daryl and his dad are starting to pick up on it. He’s got to get better at hiding it, nobody can ever find out. He’s got people to protect and he wants to keep his mom in his life, in Judith’s life, he can only do that if he keeps his mouth shut. He’s gotten so used to Shane’s touch by now it doesn’t even bother him anymore, he can take it.

Carl can hear footsteps coming into his room, two sets of footsteps, and the distinct sound of his door closing. “Hey Carl,” he hears his dad call from somewhere behind him. He hears the springs on his bed creek and he figures his dad’s sitting down on his bed. “We really need to talk about some things.”

Carl doesn't like the sound of that, nothing good ever came out of a sentence like that. “Yeah?” Carl swivels around in his desk chair so he’s facing his dad. Daryl’s leaning against his door, looking like he ain’t really sure what he should be doing right now, and his dad is sitting on his bed.

“I’m kind of tired,” Carl says, rubbing the back of his neck. Something doesn’t feel right about this, he doesn’t know what his dad’s about to talk to him about but he knows it can’t be good. He doesn't want to talk right now. “I think I’m just going to sleep.”

“It’s important,” Daryl says, and Carl’s head swivels towards him. “We need to talk about this, Carl.” Carl doesn’t speak, and his dad takes that as invitation to start talking.

“Judith… well Judith saw something today,” his dad starts off and Carl instantly feels like someone’s jabbed an ice pick through his chest. She couldn’t have seen them, not today, not ever. Judith didn’t know anything, dad and Daryl didn’t know anything, his secret was safe.

“Yeah?” Carl says, looking down at his feet. He kicks his heels against the stem of his chair, the steady thudding helps him keep his calm.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Rick says, his voice soft. Carl refuses to look up, just kicks his heel faster and faster. “She came in from outside, and saw it happen.”

“No, no she didn’t,” Carl says, damn near hyperventilating. “She didn’t see anything, she gets confused. She’s little, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Nothing happened, Dad, I swear. Nothing happened.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rick asks and Carl’s heart is suddenly in his stomach. “Did you think we wouldn’t believe you? That we wouldn’t take your side? Carl,” Rick says, voice forcing Carl to look over at him. “You’re my kid, you’re _our_ kid, and if you think for one second that we’d ever take someone’s side over yours, you’re crazy.

“I don’t,” Carl starts, takes a deep breath and tries to regain his composure. He squeezes his eyes shut and kicks against the chair, knocking out a steady pattern. It helps to clear his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t do this, Carl,” Daryl says from the doorway, and Carl doesn't think he can look at him right now. If he does, everything that’s happened to him these past months will come spilling out and he’s not ready for them to know, they can’t know. “Please don’t try and play this off as some kind of mistake. We know Shane’s been hurting you. Don’t hide from us, we only want to help.”

Carl can’t breathe. It feels like theirs a hand clamped around his chest, slowing squeezing tighter and tighter and tighter until he’s nearly gasping for breath. His chest hurts, his heart’s beating so hard he can feel it pounding against his insides, and Carl’s unable to suck in any air. His dad’s beside him in an instant, pushing his head down to fight off the anxiety that is quickly rising like bile in his throat. His touch is gentle, soft and calming, and Carl holds onto that, uses it to calm his racing heart.

Rick rubs a hand up and down Carl’s back, doing his best to calm him down. Carl’s been pulling away from most people’s touch these days, but right now he needs the comfort his dad can provide him. A few minutes later, when he’s sure his near anxiety attack is over, he sits up. He can feel wetness start to slide down his cheeks and he wipes at his eyes angrily, the last thing he wants right now is to start crying.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Carl starts off after a few minutes of silence. “When it first happened I was too shocked to say anything. And then it happened again, and again, and again. Every weekend he found an excuse to get me alone, and he’d-” Carl breaks off, unable to say anything else. He’s pretty sure the two of them get it, he doesn’t need to bring up the dirty details.

“I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell someone so badly,” Carl says, refusing to look at anything but the ground. “It ate away at me, the fact that I wasn’t telling no one. But what would I say? I didn’t know what to say, how to tell anyone. He was…. he was hurting me, a lot, and I didn’t know what to say. It started off as just touches here and there, but it quickly progressed into something more. The first weekend he, the first weekend he-” Carl stops, closes his eyes, and gathers his thoughts.

“The first weekend he did more than just touch me, I decided I was gonna tell you. I got the courage, and I was gonna tell you as soon as you came to get us. But, he must have sensed it because he started threatening me, telling me he was gonna kill me if I told. Then he threatened Judith, he threatened you two,” Carl says. He can tell he’s crying, his voice is getting choked up and his cheeks are wet, but there’s not really anything he can do about it. The tears aren’t gonna stop, the pain isn’t gonna stop, the memories will never fade.

“I had to keep quiet, I couldn’t risk something happening to the people I love simply because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want it,” Carl says, bowing his head. His voice is so soft he can hardly hear it himself. “I swear Dad, I didn’t want it. You get that, right? He forced himself on me, I didn’t- I’d never- No matter-” Carl can’t seem to get any words out, voice choking from the effort.

Rick’s still standing beside Carl, hand on his shoulder. He bends down and presses his lips against the top of Carl’s head, trying to soothe him as much as he can. “None of that,” Rick says softly. “He attacked you, forced you to do stuff, I don’t blame this on you, not for a single second. I get it, Carl, I do. I’m not going to ever blame you for this.”

“Mom will,” Carl says, and he knows it’s true. “She’ll blame me for what happened, she always takes his side on everything. She’ll take his side, won’t want anything to do with me, and Judith will lose her mom. I don’t want that.”

“You don’t know that she will,” Rick says.

“And you don’t know that she won’t.”

* * *

 

Daryl’s standing in the doorway, torn between going to comfort Carl and leaving Rick and him alone to sort through this mess, at least for now. He’ll always be there, always provide whatever Carl needs from him, but right now it seems like Carl needs Rick more than anything, and Daryl’s fine with stepping back so he can give him that.

“She doesn’t care about us like she used to,” Carl says, and the fact that a sixteen year old kid was saying that about his mom breaks his heart. “It’s the truth, everyone knows it. She loves us, sure, me and Judith are her kids. But Shane and the twins are her priority now. Her family broke, split into pieces, she found a new one. That’s how that works.”

Daryl wants to argue, wants to say that that’s not true, but he can’t. He’s seen Lori now, how she feels about her new family. He and Rick were just friends, best friends really, back when Judith was born. He remembers how excited they all were to have a new baby in the family, Lori and Rick and Carl. He spent hours talking it over with Rick, they were gonna have a little girl and Daryl had never seen anyone as excited to be a father as Rick was. Rick and Lori were so in love it was almost sickening.

But then, everything changed. Lori went into labor, had the baby, but it wasn’t the happy ending Daryl had been expecting. Lori was different, changed. He remembers when Judith was a baby. Pretty early on Lori didn’t want anything to do with her. She didn’t want to change her, feed her, hold her. She never connected with Judith, at least not in the beginning. One day, he remembers, Rick came home from work to find Lori sitting on the couch, Judith crying in her car seat on the other side of the room. Lori made no attempt at comforting her, no attempt at taking care of her, and that’s when he knew something serious was going on.

Lori wasn’t in her right mind, Daryl knows that, but he had been so angry at her when he found out what she had done. Nobody left a baby, especially not their own baby, sitting there crying for who the hell knows how long. Postpartum depression, that’s what they had called it. She couldn’t deal with everything that had happened after Judith was born, and she went crazy because of it. Rick had tried so hard to help her, worked his ass off to take care of her. He damn near killed himself trying to take care of a newborn baby, his sick wife, and still work fulltime.

Daryl figured divorce was inevitable, but he didn’t bring it up because Rick was still trying to make it all work out. But then Lori started disappearing, nobody knew where she was going until Rick caught her with Shane. That was pretty much the end of their relationship. Lori felt trapped within her family, her condition blurring the lines for what was acceptable and what wasn’t. She had an affair with Shane to try and handle everything she was feeling, and apparently it worked.

It wasn’t long before Lori was filing for divorce. Rick was distraught over his marriage ending, but he was adamant about keeping custody of his kids. By the time the custody battle hit, Judith was nearly a year old and Lori had spent next to no time with her. Rick got custody, and Shane got Lori help. Daryl knew she loved her kids, but they were still a reminder of that time in her life when she was everything but sane. Shane became her lifeline to reality, their kids only making that even stronger, and Rick and Carl and Judith just faded away.

He doesn’t want to believe there’s a shred of truth in Carl’s claim, but if Daryl’s being honest with himself he’s seen it happening little by little. Daryl’s seen Lori change, seen her priorities shift into something he will never understand. She loves her kids, but Daryl’s not sure who she’d choose: Shane or Carl and Judith.

Daryl figures it’s about time he does something other than just stand there. He steps into the room and makes his way towards Carl. “Listen kid,” Daryl says, kneeling down in front of Carl. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen, no one can tell the future. But I know one thing for certain, one thing that’s never gonna change. No matter what happens, I will always take your side over anyone’s. You’re my kid, nothing’s gonna change that, not anything. I’m with you, your Dad’s with you, and we’re gonna make everything work.”

Carl doesn’t say anything at first, and Daryl’s willing to give him time to think. He’s still not looking at anything but the ground, but he’s not kicking the chair anymore so Daryl takes that as a good sign. A few minutes later Carl slides of the chair and onto the floor. Daryl doesn’t flinch, just adjusts his weight so that Carl’s a little more comfortable. He’s crying, sobbing, and it’s breaking Daryl’s heart but there’s no way in hell he’s doing anything but holding on to him tight.

“I’ve got you,” Daryl says softly. Carl’s clinging to his shirt, acting like Daryl’s the only thing that’s keeping him sane right now, and Daryl snakes his arms around Carl’s back. “You ain’t alone Carl, you ain’t ever gonna be alone. I’ve got you.”

Rick kneels down beside him, resting a hand on Carl’s back. Carl’s got his head buried in Daryl’s shoulder, soaking his shirt with his tears. Daryl can see Rick over Carl’s shoulder. He looks like hell, it ain’t that surprising given the circumstances, but he can also see hope in his eyes. They’d get through this, they had to get through this.

“I’m scared,” Carl says, and Daryl closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “I’m so fucking scared.

“I know kid,” Daryl says, voice soft. “Believe me I know. That’s why I’m here. He can’t hurt you anymore, I won’t let him.” Daryl's father was a piece of shit who'd rather sell his son for a bottle of booze than protect him. He'd put Daryl through hell, made him feel worthless and stupid, he'd be damned if he let Shane do the same thing to Carl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse, it does get pretty descriptive so please refrain from reading if it may be triggering

The three of them decide it'll be best if they get everything over with right now instead of waiting until tomorrow. After Rick and Daryl's talk with Carl, they head to the station so they can file a report against Shane. Carol, their next door neighbor and really good friend, agrees to watch Judith for them while they’re gone. Her daughter Sofia is a little bit younger than Carl and a little bit older than Judith and is good friends with both of them, Daryl knows she’ll be in good hands.

By the time they get to the station it’s almost eight Daryl knows this could take hours, depending on how well everything goes, and figures they're probably in for a long night. Before they get there Daryl suggests they stop to get something for Carl to eat, knowing that he won't be able to swallow anything with how shot his nerves are, but no one is hungry, the situation they’re in has a way of sucking away any appetite, and they decide to just go inside.

“Hey Maxine,” Rick says as they walk up to the front desk, trying to smile but Daryl can tell it falls short. Rick's not really in a smiling mood at the moment. “Shane’s not working, is he?” Daryl and Rick are both fairly certain he's not working tonight, but the last thing they need is for him to see the three of them together right now. That would only cause a shit storm of new problems and Daryl would rather this go as smoothly as possible.

Maxine looks up and smiles back but Daryl can tell that she realizes this isn't an ordinary visit. “No, he asked to take tonight off for the twins’ birthday. Everything okay?”

Rick runs a hand over his face, trying to figure the best way to explain what’s going on without going into too much detail. “Shane attacked my son, we need to file a report.”

“Attacked as in-” Maxine starts to say but thinks better about it and stops. Daryl likes that she doesn't automatically claim that it's impossible, he figures the people have seen enough to know that anything is possible. “Alright, I’ll send for an on duty officer.”

When the officer arrives Daryl watches Rick's reaction, trying to pick up on if he's someone they can trust to look at this situation with an open mind. Rick relaxes slightly and smiles when the guy steps out. Daryl's not sure who this guy is but he can tell by Rick’s reaction that he’s decent enough to handle the situation delicately, that’s all that really matters to him. The last thing they need is to deal with an officer that’s going to make things difficult for them, this situation was already hard enough for them. Once he arrives the three of them, Carl refuses to go anywhere without them, are ushered into a back room where the officer begins his questioning.

The room is small, the police station isn't large enough to accommodate anything overtly large, but it looks similar to how the questioning rooms look on all those glorified cop shows. There's a table sitting in the room, two chairs on one side and one chair on the other side, and a large mirror that takes up almost one entire room that Daryl knows is probably two way. He briefly wonders if anyone is back there, watching them, before he disregards the idea. He's got more important things to worry about right now.

“I understand you want to file a police report against Shane Walsh,” Officer McDonald, Daryl reads on his nametag, says, setting a pile of paperwork down in front of him. Carl’s sitting across from the officer, Daryl’s sitting in the chair next to Carl, and Rick’s pacing anxiously next behind them.

"We can get you another chair, Rick," McDonald says, looking up over at the man. Rick shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his nerves, and no matter what anyone says he knows Rick's not going to stop his pacing. Pacing is what he does when he's anxious, and Rick's definitely anxious right now.

“Yes,” Carl says after Rick shakes his head, voice shaky. He clasps his hands together, trying to stop the appendages from shaking, and takes a deep breath. Daryl can tell that Carl’s scared and he wants nothing more than to make everything go away, but the only way this is going to get settled is by filing a report and that includes putting everything out on the table, not matter how hard it is to do. “He’s, um, he’s been molesting me.”

Officer McDonald looks up at that, shock clearly evident on his face. Daryl's sure he had accepted something drastically different than what Carl had said and he swears that if this douchebag tries to suggest that Carl must be mistaken he’s going to ring his damn neck. He doesn't care what the officer thinks he knows about Shane, the second he starts doubting his kid there’ll be hell to pay. The last thing Carl needs right now is for anyone to tell him he's mistaken.

“Shane’s been sexually abusing you?” McDonald reiterates, tapping his fingers against the metal tabletop. Daryl wishes he knew what his first name was so he can stop picturing the damn clown sitting in his spot.

Carl nods and looks down at his clasped hands, unable to look the officer in the eye. “Yes, he has," Carl says, voice shaking, and Daryl rests a hand over his, squeezing softly, to show him his support.

Officer McDonald sighs before he starts taking notes on the various papers in front of him. Daryl can't tell if his reaction is disbelief or shock, he doesn't really care right now. As long as he treats Carl with respect he's fine. “The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable Carl, but you’re going to have to tell me everything you can from the time the abuse started.”

“I guess it all started about eight months ago,” Carl says softly. “I don’t know why but he started getting angry, like really angry. He was always yelling at me, trying to make me feel bad about everything I did. Nothing I did was good enough and he made sure he reminded me of it. He never yelled at Judith, I’d have decked him if he did, or the twins, just me. Once he got so angry he hit me. Mom saw it but she blamed me, said I riled him up and it was my own fault.”

“What!” Rick and Daryl say at the same time, heads whipping around to look at Carl. The idea of Shane putting his hands on Carl infuriates him, finding out that Carl he had yelled at Carl way before the sexual aspect of the abuse had happened only makes everything worse.

“Why didn’t you tell us that?” Rick asks, stopping his pacing so he can focus solely on Carl. "Shane has no right to put his hands on you."

“Because it wasn't a big deal,” Carl says. “I could handle it and I didn’t want to cause any problems.”

“Rick I know this has got to be hard for you, but if you and your husband don’t calm down I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Officer McDonald says. Rick and Daryl look at each other briefly before they sigh, trying their best to relax.

After a few seconds Carl continues his story. “After that Shane just got angrier and angrier. I seemed to be the thing he took all of his frustrations out on, whether it be work, fights with my mom, or his favorite sports team losing. I don’t know why, I guess I was just there and he didn’t want to be the guy who hit his wife and kids so he just hit me instead. It wasn't that bad, really, just a few open handed slaps that didn't even leave a mark. I could handle it.” He stops for a few seconds to regain his composure before he starts up again.

“But it quickly escalated,” Carl says, far off look in his eye. “After about a month or so of him hitting me, he started drinking heavier and it just got so much worse. The first time  _it_  happened Mom took the kids out for ice cream or something, I didn’t want any so I stayed behind. He came to my room, absolutely plastered, and started touching me.”

Rick starts pacing faster than ever behind the two of them and Daryl has his thumbs pushed hard against his eyes, trying to prevent the mental image of Shane hurting his son from appearing. “I was confused at first, didn’t really know what was going on, but then he took my clothes off and I got what he was trying to do. I tried to get away but he hit me, pinned me to the bed so I couldn't escape. I remember the way his breath smelled, like cheap whiskey, and the way his hands felt as they roamed over my body.”

Carl’s crying now, voice choked up as the tears pour down his cheeks, and Daryl rests a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down as much as he can. “He didn’t do much that first day, just touched me and made me touch him. That continued for a couple of weeks but then it got worse. He-”

Carl pauses for a second, unable to get the words out, but continues anyway. “He made me suck him off, a lot. That first weekend it happened like six times. I wanted to tell somebody, was so close to telling Dad and Daryl, but he threatened me. Told me if I told anyone he would hurt me, he would hurt Judith, he would hurt dad and Daryl, I just couldn't take the chance that he would hurt them. So I stayed silent. I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't.”

“Nobody blames you Carl, it’s okay,” Rick says, stepping up behind his son. He presses a kiss against the top of his head and rubs at his shoulder. “Really, you’re doing great.”

"He threatened you?" Officer McDonald asks, taking down a few more notes when Carl nods.

“It was a few weeks after that happened that he, um he-” Carl pauses, unable to find the words to continue. “He raped me for the first time. I tried to scream for help but he held a knife to my throat. It hurt like hell and I fucking hated every second of it. He clamped his hand over my mouth so that nobody could hear me crying and then continued to hurt me for hours. That night he touched me for at least four hours, it was well into the night by the time he stopped.”

Daryl has to bite his lip to prevent himself from saying anything, rubbing his hands over his face as the tears begin to leak down his cheeks. To think his son’s been going through this kind of hell for months now, almost an entire fucking year, kills him. He can’t stand the idea of Shane putting his hands on his kid.

"He pulled a knife on you?" Officer McDonald asks, searching Carl's face. Carl just nods and rubs at his eyes. He seems to have found everything he was looking for because he takes a few more notes and asks Carl to continue.

“The next day I tried to avoid him, but he found out what I was doing and put an end to that real quick. He said I liked it, that I wanted it to happen, that I was just too tempting to resist and that made it all my fault. I didn’t like it though, I hated every fucking second of it. It didn’t matter how much I begged him to stop, he just kept coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He-” Carl clamps his mouth shut after that and puts his hands over his face. Daryl can tell he’s on the brink of sobbing and is trying his damnedest to prevent that from happening but it’s a losing battle.

“I think we have enough for now,” Officer McDonald says softly, standing up. He gathers up his papers and slips them back into his folder. “When's the last time he hurt you?"

"Today," Carl says softly, "around eleven this morning."

Officer McDonald nods. "I’m going to put out a unit to arrest Shane and call in someone to come and check you over, document any evidence there might be. There's a good chance of that considering the last attack happened less than twelve hours ago. We’ll also run a rape kit, see if there’s anything we can find that’ll link Shane to your report.”

“Do you need to do that,” Carl asks so quietly Daryl’s surprised any of them could actually hear him.

“I know it’s uncomfortable and you’re going to hate it, but the more evidence we find the stronger the case against him gets,” Officer McDonald says. Daryl’s not sure how he feels about some stranger performing a rape kit on Carl after everything he’s already been through, but he’s got enough sense in him to see it needs to be done.

“Okay,” Carl says, looking down at the floor.

“Don’t worry kid,” Officer McDonald says, opening up the door. “We’ll get him for hurting you, no one’s going to let that bastard put his hands on you again.” In a matter of seconds the door slowly shuts as McDonald turns down the hall.

The door isn't even all the way shut by the time Carl breaks down, the force of his sobs shaking his entire body. Daryl’s there in a second, Rick right next to him, arms wrapping around him tightly. Carl cries into Rick’s shoulder, hands coming up to clench tightly around his back, and Daryl rests a hand on his shoulder. His heart hurts seeing Carl like this and he'd give just about anything for the chance to go back in time and stop this from happening.

“You did so good,” Rick says, voice hitching as he tries to control his emotion, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “I’m so proud of you, Carl.”

They sit in silence after that, trying to comfort each other as best as they can given the circumstance. Daryl’s still angry, doesn't think his anger at Shane will go away for a long time, if ever, but he can feel himself start to calm down a little more as the seconds tick away. Knowing that Carl is safe and with the two of them helps.

Carl’s sobs dissipate as they wait for the person who’s supposed to come and document Carl’s injuries. He's exhausted, Daryl can tell how tired he is just by looking at him, and he has half a mind to just take Carl home now. He's been through a lot in just a few hours, he deserves rest.

Ten minutes later there’s a hesitant knock on the door. The handle turns and the door pushes open, revealing a petite blonde haired woman. “Hey Beth,” Rick says as she steps into the room, standing up as he pulls away from Carl.

“Hi,” she says. She doesn't look very old, certainly doesn't look old enough to be doing this kind of job, but Rick seems to trust her so Daryl’s okay with her presence around Carl. “Okay Carl. I’m going to take you into the next room, take some pictures and run a few tests. It will only take fifteen minutes at most, then I'll take you back here to your parents and you'll be able to go home.”

Carl nods, wiping at his eyes as he stands up. He smiles shyly at Rick and Daryl before he follows her out of the room. The second the door shuts behind the two of them Rick turns around and slams his fist into the wall, the loud sound of crack resounding through the wall when his fist hits its target. He's done a good job containing his emotions with Carl in the room but now that he's going Rick's not going to hold back. “Fucking hell,” Rick says, pulling back his fist to hit the wall again.

Before Rick can do anything drastic, like break his fucking hand, Daryl steps between him and the wall and grabs his fist. “You’re going to hurt yourself,” Daryl says, pushing Rick a little bit so that he’ll back away from the wall. “Punching things isn't going to accomplish anything, it's just going to make it worse."

Rick looks like he’s going to fight for a few seconds but his face falls and silent tears start to pour down his cheeks. Daryl doesn’t say anything, just pulls Rick’s head down so it’s buried in his shoulder. “He’s going to be okay,” Daryl says, both for his and Rick’s benefit. “He’s strong and he’s got us, everything is going to be okay.”

Before Rick can say anything else the door slams open, smacking against the wall loudly. “What the fuck is going on?” Lori asks, stepping into the room before she slams the door shut once again, “and why the fuck is my husband being arrested for raping Carl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know next to nothing about criminal investigations and how stuff like this works so hopefully this wasn't too off of what actually would happened.
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic

“Hey, Lori,” Rick says, pulling away from Daryl. He still can’t get the fact that she knew Shane had been hitting Carl and didn’t do anything about it out of his head, but right now he’d rather not bring it up. There was enough shit to talk about without adding even more drama. “Glad you could make it.”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” Lori says, sitting down on the metal table. “What the hell is going on?”

“Carl told us Shane’s been hurting him,” Rick says, running his hands through his hair. He has no idea how she’s going to react to this news but he hopes to god, for Carl’s sake, she is willing to look at it with an open mind.

“Well he’s obviously lying,” Lori says, voice louder than it needs to be given their close proximity. “Shane wouldn’t hurt Carl, you know that.”

“No,” Rick says, shaking his head. “I really don’t know that. I thought I could trust him around my kid, but clearly I can’t. Shane’s been hurting him, molesting him, for at least eight months now.”

“That’s impossible,” Lori says, crossing her arms. “Shane wouldn’t do that, he loves Carl.”

“Yeah,” Daryl says from where he’s leaning against the wall. “Maybe a little too much.”

“Why are you even here?” Lori asks, turning her attention to Daryl. Rick knows she’s trying to get a rise out of him, she’s never been a big fan of Daryl’s, but Rick knows it’s not going to work. Daryl’s gotten good at ignoring Lori’s attempts to get him to go off and he won’t let her coax him into going off with everything that's going on right now, he knows better than that. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“I don’t want to fight right now, Lori,” Daryl says, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s really not the time. I love Carl just as much as you do and I’m gonna make sure he’s safe and okay, that’s why I’m here.”

“This entire situation is fucking ridiculous,” Lori says, deciding to drop the conversation and move on to something else. “Shane is not molesting Carl, why the hell would he do that when he’s got me? He’s not gay and he doesn't like little boys.”

Rick shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Lori you know just as well as I do that being married to you does not just automatically mean he’s innocent.” He’s sure this is a big shock to her but for once he wishes she'd realize this isn't about what she’s feeling, it’s about their son, and he’s not going to let her forget that.

“I know him,” Lori says, standing up, “and you know him. He was once your best friend, remember? There’s no way he would do something like this, not to Carl, not to anyone.”

“So you’re calling our son a liar?” Rick asks, taking a few steps towards her. “Carl just explained to an officer that Shane, your husband Shane, has been molesting him for months now. Carl wouldn't lie about something like this, you know he wouldn't. This is serious.”

“Well maybe he’s just confused,” Lori says, scrambling for any other explanation. “Maybe somebody else did this to him and he doesn't want them to get in trouble so he’s just blaming Shane. Or maybe he’s lashing out, after all he’s been rather rebellious lately. Maybe he’s just trying to get back at me for what I’ve done by accusing my husband of doing something unspeakable.”

“This isn't about you,” Rick says, trying to control his anger. “This has nothing to do with you or your past decisions. This is about Shane touching Carl, touching our son. He’s not confused, he’s not lashing out at you, he’s not trying to cover up for someone else, he’s fucking scared and for once he’s speaking out about what’s happened to him.”

“I don’t believe him,” Lori says after a few seconds. “This is impossible. I know my husband, I trust him, he wouldn't do something like this.”

“Judith saw it happen,” Daryl says, still leaning up against the wall. Rick can tell he’s trying to keep his cool, trying not to go off on Lori for being so ignorant, but he’s about to lose that battle with himself. “She saw the entire thing.”

“That’s not possible,” Lori says, turning her attention to Daryl.

“You keep saying that, but it is. Judith walked in on Shane touching Carl, she’s fucking traumatized. She’s scared and she doesn't understand exactly what's going on,” Daryl says. “All she knows is she saw Shane hurt her brother.”

“She’s only eight, she couldn’t possibly understand what’s going on,” Lori says, running her hands through her hair. "She's little, she still like play make believe. She's probably just confusing fantasy and reality."

"Why the hell would she fantasize about Shane molesting Carl?" Daryl interjects and Lori lets out a groan of frustration. "You're not making any sense."

"I don't know, all I know is that she couldn't possibly have seen Shane touch Carl," Lori says, rubbing at her arms. "It didn't happen."

“So you calling her a liar too?” Rick asks. “You just gonna call both your kids liars and refuse to accept the truth? Carl needs you right now, he needs to know that you’re still on his side. He’s terrified, he’s hurt, and he needs us, all three of us.”

“Rick this is crazy,” Lori says, starting to pace the room, and Rick has to fight back the urge to shake some sense in to her. How she could be so fucking ignorant he would never understand. “You understand how crazy this is right?”

“No,” Rick says, voice starting to show how angry he is. “What’s crazy to me is that you, a mother of four fucking kids, could ever take someone else’s side. Your son says someone hurt him and all you can do is come up with ways to explain why he’s got to be lying.”

Lori’s quiet for a few seconds as she tries to gather her thoughts. Rick searches her face for any sign of remorse, sadness, anything. All he sees is anger and determination and he knows right then and there that Lori will never take Carl’s side, she’s always going to side with her husband and that makes him angrier than he’s ever been before.

“I love Carl, Rick you know I love our son,” Lori starts off, but Rick’s already disregarding everything she says. If she really loved him as much as she says she does, she would be taking his side. “But I can’t believe this, I just can’t. Shane loves him, he loves his kids, and that goes for Carl and Judith both. He would never do something like this. If that makes me a horrible mom then so be it, I’m standing by my husband on this one.”

“So that’s it?” Rick says, unable to hide the anger and disbelief in his voice. “You’re just going to abandon your kids, both of them? You realize if you do this, if you take Shane’s side over Carl’s, you will lose any relationship you have with Carl and Judith.”

Lori doesn’t say anything, just turns around so Rick can’t see her face. He’s sure the entire point of her turning around is so that Rick can't see how she’s reacting, but she must have forgotten there’s a big mirror that takes up an entire wall and he can see everything. She’s crying, though why he’ll never be able to tell, but she’s clearly made up her mind about this situation.

Rick looks over at Daryl and he can tell he’s pissed. His body is taut with frustration and he’s glaring at the back of Lori’s head. The two of them exchange a look, emotions passing through with just one look, and they simultaneously come to the same conclusion. Lori may have turned her back on her kids, but they’re not going to. Carl and Judith always come first, above everything, and they will do whatever it takes to protect them.

Before anyone else can say another word soft footsteps sound outside and the door swings open. Carl walks in first, shortly followed by Beth, and Rick can’t help but notice how tired he looks. His eyes are red and puffy and his gait is uncoordinated, it doesn't take a genius to realize he feels like hell.

“Mom,” Carl says, voice soft and hoarse. Rick can tell he's surprised, Carl probably didn't expect to see his mother so soon. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“The cops came, showed up in the middle of your brothers’ birthday party and dragged Shane out in handcuffs. Do you know how hard it is to explain to two five year olds why their Daddy is being taken away?” Lori spits out, crossing her arms over her chest. The confusion and despair she had felt while it was just the three of them is gone, replaced with nothing but cold anger.

“I’m sorry,” Carl says, and Rick hates that Carl feels like he needs to apologize. The only one who should be apologizing here is Lori. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

“Then why bring it up?” Lori says, taking a few steps towards Carl. “Why put me through this? Do you think it’s easy for me to choose between my kid and my husband?”

Carl’s not sure what to say and Rick’s about to interject, defend Carl's actions, when Beth speaks up. “Sorry to interrupt,” she says, glaring at Lori, and Rick’s sure she’s really not as sorry as she may claim to be. “But I figured I should probably tell you how it went. There was a lot of evidence to document, bruises and bite marks and stuff like that, that I made sure to get pictures of. I also ran a rape kit and was able to collect a sustainable amount of evidence. Results usually take a few days to get back but I can bump this to the top and get the results in by the end of tomorrow.”

“Thank you Beth,” Rick says, running a hand through his hair. “I appreciate your help.”

“It’s no problem,” she says, trying to smile but it falls short given their circumstance. “I’ll get the results back as soon as possible. Remember, Carl,” Beth directs towards him, “if you need to talk, just call me.”

Carl smiles slightly and nods, which Beth takes as a cue to make her leave. Rick’s not exactly sure what’s going on between the two of them, but if she’s able to help Carl in any way he’s not going to complain about it.

The door barely closes when Lori reacts, turning towards Carl with anger in her eyes. “Rape kit? Jesus Carl, don’t you think this little charade has gone on long enough? I can’t believe you’d do this to me, to our family. You realize how serious this is, right? This isn't a joke Carl, why would you lie about something like this?”

“I’m not lying Mom,” Carl says, and Rick hates how dejected it sounds. “I would never lie about something like this, you know me better than that. Do you really think I would make this up?”

Lori sighs and scratches the back of her head. Rick can tell she’s trying to calm herself down, it’s what she does when she’s thrown into a situation she doesn't know how to react in. “Oh Carl. You know I love you, but Shane wouldn't do this. Why would he go after you when he’s got me? I understand you’re confused, maybe something happened to you and you got the facts blurred so you imagined it was Shane who did it. You've been hanging around Patrick a lot lately and I know he's gay, did experimenting go wrong and you just don't want to get him in trouble?”

"Now you're just grasping at straws Lori," Rick says, shaking his head in disgust.

"Patrick wouldn't hurt me," Carl says vehemently, offended that Lori would even suggest such a thing. "He's my best friend, you can't just throw his name out there because he's gay."

"I don't know who it was," Lori continues. "But I know it wasn't Shane. If the abuse did occur you're either confused and imagined it was Shane or you're lying. Which is it?"

Rick wants to interject, wants to get between the two of them and defend his son before anything else is said, but he knows the two of them have to talk this out. He can’t get in the middle of their conversation, it’s something Carl needs to tell his mom himself. That doesn't mean that Rick’s not going to be right there, just waiting for his chance to jump in and protect Carl.

“I didn’t imagine this Mom,” Carl says, pulling down his shirt to reveal a dark hickey on his collar bone. “Shane did this to me. He came to my room last night and he left this, along with many others, on me. He’s been hurting me for months now.”

The idea of Shane leaving something like that on his kid makes Rick sick and it only takes one look at Daryl to realize he’s feeling the same. He has to fight back the urge to go find Shane, he knows he’s going to be locked away in one of their holding cells, and beat his fucking face in.

“Honey,” Lori says, eyes glued to the mark on Carl's collar bone. For the first time it looks like she’s about to waiver, support her son instead of her husband, but her eyes flick back up to Carl’s face and Rick knows it’s not going to happen. “You know I love you, but-”

“You love me but you’re going to take his side over mine, like always,” Carl says, clenching his hands by his sides, and Rick can tell he’s starting to get angry now.

“He’s my husband,” Lori says, not backing away. “I know he didn’t do this.”

“Well I’m your kid,” Carl says, stepping towards his mother, “and I’m telling you he did.”

Lori suddenly lashes out, taking a step towards Carl as her voice starts to rise once again. “If you’re so adamant about this then maybe you were asking for it, led him on. Men can’t always control their impulses, that's not their fault. You can't blame him, temptation is something some people just can’t help sometimes and you can't fault him on that. I need you to take everything back, say you made it all up. This confession is going to ruin my life, ruin our lives, and I can't let that happen.”

“This isn’t about you,” Carl says, suddenly angry for the first time since Lori had shown up. “Why do you have to make everything about you? Can’t for once, just this once, you understand that this has nothing to do with you? Your husband raped me, forced himself on to me, and nothing that you say is going to change that. I’m not taking it back because I’m done being the victim. I'm sick and tired of standing by and letting him touch me, of not talking about it because I'm afraid of something bad happening to the people I love.

“You keep talking about what this has done to you, how hard this is for you, but have you ever stopped to consider what it’s doing to me? Or Judith? She’s the one who walked in and saw it happen,” Carl says, voice falling as he loses the burst of anger he had just had. "She's only eight, she doesn't understand what's going on but she saw it happen. And it's not anything I did. I didn't ask for this, I didn't lead him on, I didn't fucking want my step dad to fuck me over and over and over again. To think you could even think that kills me."

“You’re lying,” Lori says, stepping towards Carl. “You’re fucking lying, I don’t understand how you can be so selfish. You’re going to ruin his fucking life, Carl, do you even realize that? What am I going to do, huh? What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

Lori’s nearly screaming now and Rick’s surprised nobody has come in to see what’s going on. “You’re ungrateful, pathetic, and I can’t believe you’d stoop this low to get back at me.” Lori starts walking forward, voice rising with every step. Carl scrambles backward as he tries to avoid her but ends up tripping and falling to the ground. Lori comes to a stop in front of Carl, blind rage taking over her body, and raises her hand. That's when Rick and Daryl spring into action, not entirely sure what she intends on doing with that raised hand but not willing to just stand aside any longer.

Daryl rushes forward, grabbing Lori’s hand before she can swing it towards Carl, and Rick steps in front of Carl, protecting him with his body. “I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Daryl says, every fiber in him ready to pounce and protect Carl. "You touch him and I swear to god you'll be on the ground so fast your head will spin."

“Mom,” Carl says, voice pleading, and Rick's heart breaks. “Please don’t do this, I said I was sorry.”

“Lori, Jesus,” Rick says, gently helping Carl to his feet. Every nerve in him is vibrating and he has to physically hold himself back from lashing out at Lori. “Look at your son, he’s fucking terrified and you’re only making this worse.”

Lori shakes her head and steps back. “Shane didn’t fucking touch him,” she says, spittle flying out of her mouth with the force of her words, “and I’m going to prove it.”

“Jesus Christ woman,” Daryl says, finally speaking up. Rick’s watched him for a while now and he knows Daryl’s been trying to stay out of it. He’s always been more of a silent supporter, stepping back and watching until he thinks he’s needed, but he’s clearly had enough of the situation in front of him and he's not going to keep quiet anymore. “Stop being so damn ignorant. Shane raped your son, _your husband hurt your kid_ , and there’s no other explanation for it. That's all you need to know, Shane hurt Carl, and the sooner you accept that the better.”

“This is none of your damn business,” Lori says, lashing out at Daryl now that she can't get at Carl. “You’re not even his fucking real father, you’re nothing but a wannabe. Stop trying to put your nose in other people’s business and but the fuck out. I’m tired of you sitting back and judging me, looking at me like I’m a horrible bad mother when you’re not even his parent.”

Rick watches as Daryl clenches his fists tightly at his sides, trying to hold back the urge to attack Lori. That topic has always been a sore spot for him and the fact that Lori is bringing it up, now of all places, just makes matter worse.

Daryl runs a hand down his face and turns on his heel. “I need some air,” he says, before he opens up the door and slams it shut after him.

* * *

Daryl hates that he’s leaving Carl right now, but if he doesn't step out of the room he’s going to end up decking Lori and that's only going to cause even more problems. Rick’s there, he’ll protect Carl and make sure Lori doesn't do anything drastic. He can hear yelling start up as he heads outside but tries to put it out of his head, he can’t focus on what’s going on inside right now. He’s got to get himself under control before he goes off and makes the situation even worse.

Daryl steps outside, the cold air doing wonders for his heated skin. He’s alone outside, nobody else is here, and he lets the peaceful surroundings calm him down. He takes a deep breath and relaxes against the side of the brick building.

Once he’s calm enough he takes out a cigarette and lights it up. He’s been trying to quit, Judith’s always nagging him about how cigarettes kill people and he hates scaring her, but he figures right now he deserves one. He takes a drag, letting the rush of nicotine calm his racing nerves even more, before he blows the smoke out through his mouth.

It’d been hard for him to bite his tongue when Lori had started in on Carl, but he and Rick both understood that the two of them needed to try and talk it out before they got involved. He figured he was doing a pretty decent job until Carl tripped and Lori raised her hand at him, he wasn't about to let her traumatize Carl even more than he already was, and he couldn't hold back his tongue anymore.

He knows he’s technically not Carl and Judith’s father, but he’s been there for them for years now. Even before Judith was born and Lori and Rick were still happily married, Daryl was in Carl’s life. He’s been there for them through everything, has helped them out as best as he possibly could, and for Lori to so blatantly call him out like that pisses him off more than he’s willing to admit.

Daryl’s almost completely finished with his cigarette when he hears footsteps. He looks up to see Lori walking by, seemingly headed towards her car. “You know I get it,” Daryl calls after her. He doesn't expect Lori to pay any attention to him, she never has before, so he’s surprised when she stops to listen. She doesn't turn around but she’s stopped and willing to listen so Daryl’s going to continue his conversation.

“You see Shane as your savior, I get that,” Daryl says, taking another drag from his cigarette. “Rick helped pull me out of a dark place, Shane helped you. You love him, he’s your husband, and you don’t want to give up on the thing that saved your life. But Carl’s hurting and he’s your son, he's what's important. You’re supposed to take his side, you’re supposed to always take his side, but instead you’re going to take the side of a rapist and that’s something I’ll never forgive.”

Daryl takes the last drag on his cigarette before he throws it down, stomping out the ashes. “Carl is my son, I love him more than life itself, and you are killing him. You don’t even care though, because you’re determined to stay by Shane’s side.”

Daryl shakes his head and puts his hands in his pockets. “You think that because I’m not a biological parent that I care any less? That’s bullshit. I was there to pick up the pieces when you ran off with another man. You left them broken and bruised, I had to fix that. This is my family you’re fucking with, my kid you’re putting through hell, and the fact that you’re choosing a rapist over your own son sickens me. I know you love your kids Lori, but if you can’t love them enough to kick Shane to the curb, you can go. Just go. They don’t need you anymore. You left once and they got over you, they can do it again.”

Daryl watches Lori for a few seconds, half expecting her to turn around and say something to him. But she doesn't say anything, just continues walking like nothing had happened. He knows she had heard him, there’s no way she couldn't have, and she’s just choosing to ignore him. Whatever, two can play at the game. Daryl turns back towards the building and walks into the police station, intent on providing support for his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter, it does reference having nightmares but they aren't really explained

By the time the three of them get home from the police station it’s well past eleven and Daryl’s exhausted. Daryl had returned to Carl and Rick after his brief run in with Lori to find Carl an absolute mess, not surprising since he had basically just lost his mother. The second Daryl stepped through the door Carl ran to him and practically begged him not to leave him too. The entire situation had nearly broken Daryl’s resolve. Seeing Carl like that had brought out the protectiveness in him and all he had wanted to do was find Lori and knock some sense into her thick skull. She'd destroyed her son in a matter of minutes and didn't seem to care about picking up the pieces. Her turning her back on her son had nearly broken Carl and once again, not that Daryl minded in the slightest, he and Rick were left to pick up the pieces from the damage Lori had done.

After Carl had calmed down some there had been more paperwork to fill out, more questions to be asked, and more suffering that Carl was forced to endure. Every second they were there, every recollection Carl had to relive, only made him angrier. Daryl wanted nothing more than to go back in time and fix this from ever happening again but he can’t and he hates himself for it. After what had seemed like forever the three of them were finally granted permission to leave and Daryl had jumped at the chance to get Carl out of there. They hadn’t come into contact with Shane, which was a good thing for everyone involved, and their exact had been smooth. Daryl and Rick probably wouldn’t have been able to hold back their anger if they would have come into contact with that bastard.

“Carol texted. Judith and Sophia fell asleep watching a movie together. Carol said she could spend the night over at her house, that way we don’t have to wake her up to take her home. She’ll bring her by in the morning when she wakes up,” Rick says, as he and Daryl walk through the front door.

“That’s good,” Daryl says, kicking off his shoes and slipping out of his coat. Carl’s already halfway up the stairs by the time the two of them have made it completely into the house.

“You hungry, Carl?” Daryl asks, looking up at him with a worried expression on his face. “You’ve hardly eaten today.”

“No,” Carl replies, smiling down at him. The smile is fake, it doesn’t completely reach his eyes, but Daryl figures it’s probably not the best time to comment on that right now. “I’m really tired so I think I’m just going to bed.”

“Okay,” Rick says, smiling sadly. “Good night, you know we love you.”

Carl doesn’t reply, just smiles another one of his fake smiles and heads up the stairs. Fifteen seconds later Daryl can hear the sound of his bedroom door shutting.

Rick sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, before he turns to look over at Daryl. “What are we going to do?” he asks, running his hand through his hair. “Judith’s got to be confused, Carl’s a mess, Lori is in denial, and Shane is going to pull everything he possibly can to get out of this. Not to mention I have no idea what we’re going to do about Noah and Nathan. I believe Carl when he says he’s sure Shane hasn’t been touching them but how are we supposed to know that for sure? I mean should we get CPS involved?”

Rick shakes his head and shifts is weight. “I don’t even know where to begin to start fixing this, Daryl. I should know, I’m a damn cop for crying out loud, I fix shit like this all the time. It’s just that whenever my family is involved my brain freezes up and I stop being able to function properly. All I can think about is Shane hurting my kid and my judgment gets cloudy and it takes everything in me not to go out and attack him. I just-”

Daryl can tell Rick’s on a rambling rampage that’s not going to end anytime soon so he does the only thing he can think of. He steps up to him and presses their lips together, effectively stopping Rick’s babble. He holds the kiss for a few seconds before he pulls away, resting his hand on the side of Rick’s face. “First things first, you need to calm down. The only thing you need to do right now is take a deep breath and calm yourself down before you work yourself into a frenzy.”

Rick sighs and takes a deep breath, burying his face in Daryl’s neck. Daryl lets him rest there, wrapping his arms around him tightly to calm him down, until Rick’s heart has stopped beating so fast and he’s positive he’s not going to give himself a heart-attack. “Better?”

Rick smiles pulls back slightly, kissing Daryl again. The kiss is soft and sweet, comforting, and it helps to calm Daryl’s nerves as well. He’s been on edge ever since he had dropped the kids off at Lori and Shane’s house and only now, when he knows his kids are accounted for and he’s in the arms of the man he loves most, can he finally begin to unwind.

“We be there for him, no matter what, that's what I do. This trial is going to be hard, but we’ll get through it. We will do what we do best, take care of our kids,” Daryl says. “They’re strong, they can get through this. Lori may come around and if she doesn’t, we can fix that problem when we get there. We will let the investigating officers handle the twins, okay? You need to turn off your cop switch and just act like a worried father, that’s all that Carl needs right now. Let the rest of the police station deal with everything, they know what they’re doing Rick. It’s about time you get a break.”

Rick takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, letting out the rest of his pent up emotions, and rests his face against Daryl’s shoulder. “You’re right,” he says softly. “As usual. I love you, so much, and I’ll never be able to describe how grateful I am to have you here with me. Carl needs someone like you in his life, he’s lucky.”

Daryl doesn’t know what to say, he’s never been good at expressing his emotions with words, so he does the only thing he knows works. He wraps his arms around Rick’s neck and presses their lips together, hoping it will be enough to relay everything he’s feeling right now.

Apparently it works because Rick smiles and pulls back, palming the side of Daryl’s face. “Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day and we’re both exhausted.”

“Alright,” Daryl says, letting Rick pull him up the stairs and into their bedroom. There’s still things that need to be figured out, stuff that needs to be done, but right now there’s nothing they can do but sleep. They both strip down to their boxers and curl up next to each other under the covers. Both men are asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

Rick’s only been asleep for a few hours when the sound of a shrill ringing noise jolts him awake. He’s still half asleep, body becoming more and more alert as the sound continues to ring, as he smacks his hand around his nightstand looking for his cellphone. He doesn’t even have the energy to check who’s calling before he hits talk and holds it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Rick?” Carol’s voice sounds over the speaker, instantly piquing Rick’s interest. She sounds worried and that only causes a seed of dread to settle deep in the pit of his stomach. He sits up, suddenly wide awake, and checks the clock next to his bedside lamp. The green numbers read 3:53 AM. The only reason she would be calling at this hour is if something had happened to Judith.

“What’s wrong?” Rick asks, jumping out of bed. He hastily throws on some clothes, not even checking to see if they match, and throws a shoe at Daryl. Daryl’s the heaviest sleeper Rick has ever met and he’s still in a dead sleep but Rick needs him awake in case they need to hurry. “Is Judith okay?”

“What the hell?” Daryl says, sitting up in bed, suddenly wide awake. His eyes are puffy and his hair is a complete disarray of tangles, Rick can’t help but notice he looks adorable, and he’d probably laugh if he wasn’t so freaked out right now.

“Yes, yes,” Carol says quickly, trying to reassure Rick that everything’s okay. “She’s fine, at least sort of. She just came into my room, crying hysterically, and begged me to call you. I can’t get her to stop crying, I think she had a nightmare or something. Usually when she has one over here I can get her to calm down but this time she won’t. It’s really bad.”

“Okay,” Rick says, running his fingers through his hair. “Tell her I’ll be right over, okay? Try to keep her calm until I can get there, the last thing we need is for her to throw herself into a full blown panic attack.”

Judith’s suffered from severe nightmares ever since she was a toddler that are usually triggered by some kind of stressful event. After what she experienced yesterday, Rick would have been surprised if she hadn’t had one. After all, what’s more traumatic than witnessing your step-father hurt your brother?

“Sure thing,” Carol says before. Rick can hear her softly trying to shush someone, probably Judith, as she hangs up the phone.

“Judith woke up Carol crying,” Rick says, leaning over to kiss Daryl. “She thinks she had a nightmare or something, which isn’t really surprising considering what’s just happened. I’m going to go pick her up. You stay here, I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay,” Daryl says, standing up. He arches his back and extends his hands over his head, stretching out his corded muscles. “She’ll probably want to sleep in here, I’ll get Frozen ready while you’re gone.”

After a nightmare, especially a severe one, Judith wants nothing more than to curl up with him and Daryl, no matter where she may be. Rick will never forget the night Judith had called him sobbing hysterically while she was over at Lori and Shane’s. She’d had a nightmare and, to the disappointment of Shane and Lori both, the only thing she wanted was him and Daryl. Lori still hasn’t forgiven him for picking her up. She had been convinced she was enough to calm her daughter down and was furious when he and Daryl had shown up at four o’clock in the morning to come get her. The only other thing besides them that can help her calm down is Frozen, though it works best if the two of them are watching it with her. Frozen has a calming effect on her, for whatever reason, and they always put it on for her.

“Yep,” Rick says, already heading out of the bedroom. Right now his only thought is getting to his terrified daughter.

Rick doesn’t bother to put on shoes or a jacket before stepping outside, Carol lives right next to them and it’s only going to take him a few seconds for him to get there. Rick makes his way over the short distance and walks right in, not bothering to knock. He’s sure Carol will understand.

Rick’s only halfway through the doorway by the time Judith runs towards him. She’s in his arms in a just a few seconds, wrapping her arms and legs around him like an octopus. She’s crying, her blue eyes puffy and red, and the sight breaks his heart. Nobody her age should have to suffer through something like this.

“Hey baby,” Rick says, softly shushing her, as he runs a hand up and down her back gently. “What’s the matter?”

Judith doesn’t speak, only tightens the death grip she’s got on Rick and that’s when he knows that whatever had happened had to of been bad. She buries her face in Rick’s chest and shakes her head, indicating she doesn’t want to talk about it, and Rick softly shushes her.

“Okay, baby, let’s get you home,” Rick says, ignoring all the questions he has, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. He briefly wonders what horrible scenario had plagued his daughter’s dreams before he pushes that aside. He doesn’t have time to think about that right now, right now his number one priority is taking care of Judith.

“Thank you,” Rick says, looking over at Carol with a sad smile. She’s always done everything she could for them and Rick’s truly grateful to have someone like her as his neighbor. “For everything.”

“It’s no problem.” She smiles, an honest smile, and Rick feels some of the worry lift away. She’s been through a hell of a lot and is the strongest woman Rick’s ever met, it’s good to know she’ll be there to help if needed. “Bye honey, I’ll see you later,” Carol says, pressing her lips against Judith’s head.

Rick bids goodbye to Carol before he walks back outside, carrying Judith back over to their house. She doesn’t loosen her grip once as he carries her up the stairs and still refuses to talk about what she’s so scared about. In fact she hardly speaks at all the entire time Rick’s carrying her, no matter how hard Rick tries to get her to talk, and it’s really starting to worry him. She’s no longer hysterically sobbing but she’s still crying and every second that this goes on Rick feels another part of him die inside. There's nothing worse than seeing your child in so much pain and knowing you can't do a thing about it.

Once the two of them are in the house he takes her straight to his and Daryl’s bedroom. He doesn’t ask anything else, he knows it’ll do anything but good for the both of them, and only tries to lend as much support as he can. When Judith’s ready she’ll talk and that’s all that he cares about right now.

“Hey munchkin,” Daryl says as the two of them walk into the room. He’s sitting on the bed, the main menu screen to Frozen already up and ready for them on their TV. “You get scared?”

Judith just nods and crawls up into Daryl’s lap, burying her face in his chest. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“That’s okay,” Daryl says, running a hand up and down Judith’s back, as Rick sits next to him. “You can always wake us up when you need something, you know we won’t get mad at you.”

Judith doesn’t say anything, just maneuvers herself so she’s in the middle of the two of them. “Can we watch Frozen now?”

“Yeah,” Daryl says, picking up the remote so he can press play. “You know it.”

Judith doesn’t say anything as the opening scene begins, her eyes glued to the TV. By the time the first full song has ended she’s more relaxed than Rick’s seen her since Daryl had dropped the kids off at Lori’s house for the weekend and he couldn’t be any happier than he is right now to see her like this.

* * *

Carl wakes up in a cold sweat, terror taking over every one of his senses. His room may be hot and sticky but his body is freezing. The feeling of hands, and tongue, and teeth tracing across his body don’t go away even though he’s no longer dreaming of what Shane had done to him. He’s paralyzed with fear, emotions and nerves reliving his latest experience with Shane over and over again, and he can’t force himself to do anything but lay there in the dark.

After a few minutes Carl manages to come to his senses and sit up, breathing so fast and labored he’s surprised he hasn’t thrown himself into a panic attack. Carl’s exhausted, more tired than he’s been in a long time, but he knows he won’t be able to fall asleep any time soon.

Carl makes his way out of his bedroom and into the bathroom down the hall. He steps up to the sink, turns the cold water handle of the faucet, and splashes water on his face. He stands there for a few seconds, looking at himself in the mirror, and is disgusted with what he sees. His shirt is cut low enough that he can see the top of the hickey on his collar bone.

He forces himself to look away from the mirror, trying his best to shake away the feeling of disgust he has, before he walks out of the bathroom. He glances over at the door that opens up into Daryl and Rick’s room, noticing the soft light from underneath the door and the quiet sound of Frozen playing in the background. Judith must be in there watching a movie.

He tells himself he shouldn’t do it, that he should just head back to his room and suffer his fears alone, but he can’t force himself to do it. He’s so tired of being alone, of trying to cope with what’s been done to him by himself, and he can’t help but reach out to them. Rick and Daryl are the only people who don't look at him differently, he needs something like that to keep him from spiraling out of control.

Carl takes a few hesitant steps towards their bedroom door, briefly debating with himself on whether or not he should knock or just walk in, before he carefully opens the bedroom door so he can peek in. Judith, Rick, and Daryl are in bed, all three of them focusing on the movie that’s playing on the flat screen hanging from the wall. They look up when he walks and Daryl smiles at him, patting the bed next to him.

He doesn’t ask questions, which Carl’s glad for because he doesn’t think he can handle questions right now, just scoots over and makes room for him. Carl crawls into bed next to Judith and quickly settles himself until he’s in a comfortable position.

Judith doesn’t say anything, only scooches closer to him. Carl strokes the hair that’s in her eyes back from her face before he presses a kiss against her forehead.  If she’s in bed with Daryl and Rick watching Frozen instead of with Carol next door he figures she must have had a nightmare also. He wants to ask questions but he knows he can’t, not right now. Right now the four of them just need normal bonding time with no talk about what’s happened lately.

Carl shifts slightly into a more comfortable position, feeling safer than he has in months. He feels Daryl’s hand card through his hair before he kisses the top of his head and Carl smiles his first real smile in long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: the end of the chapter may be a little triggering for some people as it mentions the evidence Beth was able to collect from Carl in detail

Carl wakes up the next day still in Rick and Daryl’s bed. His parents are gone, probably off to make breakfast or something, but Judith’s still in bed watching him wake up. She looks scared, almost like she’s about to cry, but he can tell there's something bothering and he really doesn't like that look on his sister's face. She didn't deserve to feel like that.

“Hey, Judith,” Carl says, sitting up in bed. He rubs at his eyes and arches his back, stretching, before he turns his complete attention towards Judith. “What’s the matter?”

Judith’s quiet for a minute, Carl figures she’s contemplating how she should say whatever is on her mind, and after what seems like forever she opens up. “Do you hate me?”

“What?” Carl asks, scooting closer to his sister. He’s absolutely blown away by her question and he’s not sure how he should react. “No, I could never hate you. Why would you think that?”

“But you are mad at me,” Judith says, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. Carl can tell she’s sure of it, that she honestly believes Carl’s mad at her, and that fact breaks his heart. The last thing he wants Judith to think right now is that he’s mad at her.

“No,” Carl says, completely honest. “I’m not mad at you, Judith. Why would you think that?”

“Because,” Judith says, sniffing. She rubs at her eyes and wipes her nose with her shirt. “I didn’t protect you. I ran away and didn’t do anything. I should have helped you.”

“Oh, Judith,” Carl says, shaking his head softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you did exactly what you should have done. Shane could have hurt you if you wouldn’t have ran, I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you.”

“So you’re not mad at me?” Judith asks, looking up at Carl from under her lashes. “Even though I didn't help you out? Promise?”

Carl smiles sadly and pulls Judith in to his lap. She’s a little too big to be sitting on his lap, but he’s not going to keep letting her think that he hates her. That’s the last thing he wants right now.

“I pinkie promise,” Carl says, holding out his pinkie. “I’m not mad at you and I certainly don’t hate you. I’m proud of you, Judith, and you helped me out more than you could possibly know. To be honest, you saved me. I never would have told Dad and Daryl that Shane was hurting me, you telling them what happened probably saved my life.”

“Really?” Judith asks, brightening up slightly.

Carl smiles and nods his head. “Really.”

“Daddy says he’s going to make us pancakes,” Judith says, back to her usual peppy self. “Let’s go see if they’re done.”

“Okay,” Carl says with a smile, letting Judith grab on to his arm and pull him out of the room. As long as she understands Carl doesn’t hate her for what happened, he’s good.

* * *

“What are you doing here?” Rick asks, as he opens up his front door to see Lori standing on the front porch. Carl’s at a friend’s house for the first time since summer break had started over two weeks ago, Judith’s in her room playing, and Daryl’s putting the finishing touches on dinner. The last person Rick had expected to be standing outside when the doorbell rang was his ex-wife and he’s got to say, he’s not sure how he feels about it. It's been a relatively peaceful day today, Rick and Daryl have tried their damnedest to keep conversation away from the impending investigation, and the last thing he needs right now is Lori showing up at his house. 

“Judith left her blanket at my house,” Lori says, pushing past Rick and into his house. “I know she has problems sleeping without it. Where is she? I’d like to give it to her myself, if you don’t mind.”

Rick doesn’t tell Lori that Judith hasn’t had problems sleeping without the blanket in her hands for months now, he’s not even sure when the last time he had seen it is, because he really doesn’t want to start a fight with her right now. The last thing he wants to do right now is ruin the good day they've had.

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea right now,” Rick says, running a hand across his face. “You should probably just go, I’ll give her the blanket for you.”

“Really, Rick?” Lori says, putting a hand on her hip. “Are you really going to be this petty? Don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be.”

“Taking Shane’s side over Carl’s affects both of my kids, Lori, and I told you if you abandon Carl when he needs you most you can kiss your relationship with them goodbye,” Rick says, shaking his head. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation right now. Today had been going so good, the last thing he wants is to argue with his ex-wife.

“What do you want me to do?” Lori says, throwing her arms out in exasperation. “My hands are tied behind my back. I’m sticking by my husband because that's what a good wife does.”

“He put his hands on your son,” Rick says, resisting the urge to get in Lori’s face. “A good mother would stand by her kids. How can you even stand to look at him?”

“I don’t think it was Shane,” Lori says. Rick can’t tell if she’s just in major denial or if she really believes what she’s saying, either way he can’t stand to look at her. “He wouldn’t do something like this.”

“He’s hit him before, hasn’t he?” Rick asks, already knowing the answer. He can tell by the shocked look on Lori’s face that she hadn’t expected him to know that and that only makes him angrier. Lori does know that Shane’s hit Carl, even if it was only once, and that’s enough for him to come to the understanding that she will never be on her kids’ side. "What makes you think he wouldn't do this?"

“That was a one-time thing,” Lori says, like that makes it okay. “He’s hit him once and it was Carl’s fault. If he wouldn’t have mouthed off to him he wouldn’t have gotten hit, that’s called poor judgment. Carl knows better than to get him riled up, he should have remembered. All Shane did was parent him. ”

“It doesn’t matter what Carl did,” Rick says, gritting his teeth. “We don’t hit our children, especially not like that, and I can’t believe you're defending Shane.”

“He barely touched him,” Lori says, trying to defend herself. “It was just a tap, a simple reminder to be more respectful. If it was anything more than that I would have stepped in.”

“I can’t believe this,” Rick says, shaking his head. “Shane has no right to put his hands on him, period. I don’t care what he thinks his excuse is, he doesn’t lay a hand on my kids.”

“Your kids, I thought they were our kids?” Lori asks, trying her best to push at all of Rick's buttons, and Rick honestly has to resist the urge to smack her.

“With values like yours they’re my kids,” Rick says, meaning what he says. "And you wonder why I have full custody of them."

“He only hit him once,” Lori says, trying to convey her sincerity with her eyes. “After it happened I talked to him about, he said he’d never hit him again.”

“And you believed him?” Rick asks, anger starting to flow through his veins. “You should have done more to make sure something like that never happened again. You didn’t tell me, you left him alone with our son, and he clearly didn’t listen to what you had to say because he’s been molesting him for eight months now. He’s doing more than just hitting, he’s raping him, and the sooner you pull yourself out of your denial the better.”

“That's not true. If it was, I would know,” Lori says, shaking her head. For a second there looks like there’s guilt in her eyes but it’s quickly covered up with hard look of determination. “There’s no way Shane’s been molesting him in my house without me knowing about it.”

"Do you know how many cases I've handled where one parent or the other has said that?" Rick asks, looking over at Lori. "Almost every single one. But most of them stand by their kids, because that's the sign of a good mother."

"We've already established I'm not the best mother," Lori says, folding her hands together. "And this is different. I know my husband and I know my house, if something like this was going on I would know about it."

“Why are you doing this?” Rick asks, tired of arguing with her on this subject. “Why do you insist on taking his side? You are going to lose your kids over this, why the fuck would you do this?”

“Because he's my husband, the father of my children,” Lori says, looking up at Rick. “That’s what matters now, and I stand by my husband’s claims. It's not that I don't love Carl or I don't think someone's been hurting him, because I've finally come to the conclusion that he wouldn't lie about this, but I do not believe that it's Shane.”

“You have more than two children Lori!” Rick says, voice rising as he starts to get angry. “Carl, your oldest son, is more important than your relationship with Shane.”

Daryl must have sensed the situation getting more heated because he comes out of the kitchen and stands by Rick. He doesn’t touch him, they've never been one for PDA, especially not in front of Lori, but their bodies are close enough together that Rick can sense his body heat and it does wonders in calming him down.

Lori disregards Daryl’s presence and speaks only to Rick. Apparently she’s still not too pleased with him. “Can we make this quick,” she says, checking the time on her cell phone. “I have to pick my kids up from my sister's house, visiting hours are ending soon and my kids need to see their father.”

"You’re taking them to see him?” Rick asks, incredulous. “Why the fuck would you do something like that.”

"He's their father,” Lori says, like that’s the only explanation she needs. “They don’t understand what’s going on. All they know is that their Daddy is in jail for something he didn’t do.”

"But he did do it! He raped my son you selfish bitch," Rick says, practically yelling. He’s sick and tired of Lori dismissing the subject and acting like it never actually happened. She needs to grow up and take count of everything that’s been going on or she’ll never be able to get past this.

“Daddy?” Judith says softly, peeking out from around the corner. “What’s going on?” Rick can see nervousness, and maybe a little bit of fear, on her face and it breaks his heart. The last thing he wants is for his daughter to see him fighting with her mother.

“Hey, baby,” Daryl says, jumping into action before anyone else can even react. “Come on, let's get you washed up for dinner."

Judith doesn’t say anything, just looks at Rick and Lori for a few seconds before she lets Daryl pull her away.

Lori doesn’t even wait ‘til Judith is a safe distance away before she continues her rampage. "Shane didn't do shit, I know he didn’t. I'm convinced it was Daryl and I'm suing you for custody of the kids."

Rick’s blood runs cold as the last sentence leaves her lips and he has to fight harder than ever to contain himself. Attacking his ex-wife would only get him put behind bars and then Carl would be losing yet another parent. He knows she’ll never get custody of his kids, especially not if she’s taking Shane’s side on this situation, and she’ll definitely never prove that Daryl’s the one who’s been hurting Carl. But that doesn’t stop the anger from rising within him. The fact that she even has the audacity to blame his husband for what Shane's done sickens him.

"You try and take my kids and I swear to god, you will regret it. And don't even _think_ about trying to go after Daryl."

* * *

Daryl carries Judith up the stairs as quickly as he can, trying to keep her from hearing the rest of Rick and Lori’s words. He understands why Rick is so angry, hell he has to fight back the urge to yell right alongside him, but he wishes they would take it outside so Judith doesn't have to witness them fight. He can just barely hear Lori accuse him of molesting Carl when he makes it to the bathroom and shuts the door.

“Why are they fighting?” Judith asks as she steps up to the sink and begins to wash her hands.

Daryl sighs and sits on the side of the tub, trying to figure out how he should explain this to his daughter. “Your Mama’s a little confused,” he says softly, choosing his words carefully. He doesn’t want to lie to her but he also doesn’t want to make her feel like Lori doesn’t love her anymore, no eight year old deserves that on their conscious.

“She doesn’t think Shane hurt Carl?” Judith asks, turning of the facet. She sounds so dejected it actually hurts Daryl’s heart and he swears he’s going to do everything he can to put a smile on her face.

“She jus’ doesn’t know what ta think, sweetie,” Daryl says, scratching at his chin. No matter how hard he tries he can’t seem to find the right words to calm Judith’s fears. How exactly are you supposed to tell an eight year old that her mom refuses to believe her step-dad has been raping her son?

“She thinks me and Carl are lying?” Judith asks, and Daryl can literally see the pain in her eyes.

Daryl doesn’t know what to say to that, if he should tell the truth or stretch it a little, and he struggles for the words to say for a few seconds. “I don’t know about that,” Daryl says, moving a strand of hair out of her eyes. “She’s jus’ in denial, ya remember what that means?”

“She doesn’t wanna see the truth,” Judith says and Daryl’s smiles sadly.

“Exactly. She’s a little confused an' maybe doesn’t know what to think right now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t believe ya,” Daryl says, trying to explain the situation to the best of his ability.

“Does Mommy hate me for getting Shane in trouble?” Judith asks, looking up at Daryl with watery eyes. "Is that why she wants to take me away from you? To punish me? I don't want to live with her, I want to live with you and Daddy." Judith's crying now, tears slowly falling down her cheeks, and every protective instinct in Daryl has been magnified.

"Nobody is going to take you away from us, baby," Daryl says, pulling Judith into a hug. "Never. You belong here with me and yer Daddy, that's never going to change."

"Promise?"

"I pinkie promise," Daryl says, knowing that to Judith that's the equivalent of swearing on the bible in court. 

"So she doesn't hate me?" Judith asks, voice so soft that Daryl can barely hear her.

“No,” Daryl says, pulling Judith into a hug. “She could never hate you, baby. She loves you a lot, kid, she really does. It’s just that she’s-”

“Confused?” Judith supplies and Daryl smiles sadly.

“Exactly,” he says. “She’s just a little confused.”

“Will she ever stop being confused?” Judith asks. Daryl doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t think Lori will ever be able to accept what really happened but he doesn’t exactly want to tell that to his daughter.

“Maybe someday,” Daryl says, trying to smile. “Only time will tell.”

“Shane’s a bad man,” Judith says, completely serious. She refuses to look up, just continues to pick at her nails, but Daryl can tell she means every word. “Even if Mommy never stops being confused, I’m glad I told you what I saw. Now he can’t hurt Carl anymore.”

“That’s right. You did a good thing and your Daddy and I are so proud of you for being brave enough to tell us the truth,” Daryl says, standing up. He heard the front door slam shut and figures that means Lori's gone now and he can take Judith back down stairs. He takes Judith’s hand and leads her out of the bathroom. “No matter what happens, always remember that.”

“Thanks, Papa,” Judith says, wrapping her arms around Daryl’s waist.

“Anytime, sweetie,” Daryl says, hugging her back, as the two of them walk back downstairs and into the kitchen.

* * *

Rick’s cellphone goes off just as he’s finishing dinner. “Hello?” he says, quickly stepping into the other room for a little bit of privacy. He’s not sure who’s on the other line and if he should be taking this call in front of his daughter.

“Hey, Rick,” the voice on the other line sounds and Rick instantly recognizes Beth.

“Hey, Beth,” Rick says, leaning up against the wall. “Did you get the results already? That was fast.” Rick knows the town they live in is small and that they don’t handle a lot of cases every day, but Beth really had pushed everything a head of time.

“Yeah, well I told you I’d get them as fast as I could,” Beth says. “I’ve been working on them overtime to make sure I upheld my promise.”

“Thank you,” Rick says, brushing a hand through his hair. “I really appreciate you going the extra mile for Carl.”

“Believe me,” Beth says, voice understanding, “I get what Carl’s going through. It can be hard and he’s a good kid, he deserves justice."

Rick smiles, even though Beth can’t tell. It’s nice to know that someone cares about Carl and believes his side of the story just as much as he and Daryl do. Carl doesn't have many supporters right now, finding one in Beth is something Rick knows is going to help Carl. “So what’d you find?”

“A lot,” Beth says, and suddenly Rick feels a spike of dread go through him. He’s not sure he’s ready to hear evidence of all the horrible things Shane had done to his kid. He knows he had to find out eventually, had been waiting on edge to hear back from Beth, but know that the news is here he's not sure he's ready. “This isn’t going to be easy to hear, Rick, but I think you should know exactly what we have on Shane. That way when the trial really starts to get going it'll be easier to handle.”

“I’m ready,” Rick says, trying to prepare himself. He knows very well the evidence Beth probably collected from his son and he knows he's not going to like it.

“I’ll start with the easy stuff,” Beth says, sighing. “There was a lot of bruising on Carl’s body, but one mark in particular jumped out at me. It was new, probably happened this weekend, and it left some kind of imprint behind. I was able to match the mark with Shane’s wedding ring. That in and of itself isn’t much to go on, but the bite marks on his chest proved more promising. We were able to match up a bite sample we took from him to the bite marks on Carl’s chest, they were identical. There were bruises in the shape of fingerprints on his hips which we couldn’t do anything with but still documented. All of this is considered evidence and the more we find the easier getting a conviction will be.”

“Jesus,” Rick says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can feel his throat start to choke up as his eyes start to water. Rick's always been effected by the evil people commit every day, but when it's his own kid it hits him even harder. It’s never easy hearing the abuse your child has suffered and Rick’s just about to lose it. He hears reports like this every day in his line of work, but it is so different when he’s on the other side of the news.

“I know this is hard,” Beth says, softly. Rick can tell she’s trying to calm him down so he doesn’t have a full on meltdown and he’s thankful to know that she’s the one handling Carl’s evidence. Beth has always been his favorite lab technician and he knows he can trust her to get the job done right. “And this next part isn’t going to be much easier.”

“Don’t try and spare my feelings,” Rick says, shifting his position up against the wall in preparation for the news we're about to here. “I need to know everything.”

“As you know we ran a rape kit along with the photographic evidence we collected,” Beth continues, choosing her words carefully. “Carl asked me to run some tests on his blood to make sure Shane didn't give him anything, everything I tested him for came back negative. When I did the rape kit I was able to find traces of semen, not much but enough to use for a DNA test, and when I tested it against Shane’s DNA it came back positive. That’s definitive proof that Shane did rape Carl.”

“We already knew that,” Rick says, pressing his fingers against his eyes to try and stop the impending headache he can feel coming on. He's glad to hear that Carl has no STD's but he also knows he's not completely out of the woods yet. “I knew my kid wasn’t lying, but this much evidence supporting Carl’s claim is going to help our case against Shane so much.”

“I’m just glad I was able to help,” Beth says. “Maybe this will be enough proof to convince Lori that her husband did hurt Carl.”

Rick scoffs, not sure if anything short of Shane's confession could convince Lori of Shane’s guilt. “We can only hope. Thanks for letting me know, Beth, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Beth says, “Rick. If you guys need anything, anything at all, just call me. I’ll be happy to help you out.”

"Thank you." Rick says goodbye to Beth and hangs up the phone. He stands there, leaning against the wall for a few more minutes, before he steps away and heads back towards the kitchen. At least they’ve got the proof they need to lock Shane away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything that Beth found was based off my very limited knowledge of DNA collection (I admit, basically it all comes from episodes of CSI) and I'm well aware of the fact that this information may be a little bit off. 
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic at all

Merle’s already at the shop when Daryl pulls up in front the next day. His truck is parked in his usual parking spot along with quite a few other cars which means they’re busy, busier than is usual for a Tuesday morning. He’s sure Merle’s going to be pissed at him, he hadn’t shown up at all yesterday and hadn't given him any explanation as to why, but Daryl’s really not in the mood to deal with a pissed off brother. He's got too much on his mind as it is.

He hadn’t wanted to come in today at all but he knew he couldn’t keep putting it off, he couldn’t just leave the shop alone with his brother until this shit storm ends. Rick’s boss had given him a month’s worth of paid vacation, despite Rick’s protests, while the trial progresses so he can be at home with the kids. Daryl knows Rick’ll end up going crazy by the time it’s up, he's never liked not working, but Rick definitely deserves a break after everything he's done lately and he’s glad there’s going to be someone at home for the kids when he can’t be.

Daryl gets out of his car and stares up at he and his brother's shop. Dixon Motors is something he and his brother had started together, neither one of them thinking it would ever be something this big. Now, five years later, it’s the most reliable auto repair shop in this area. Given it’s located in a small town surrounded by even smaller towns, but that does nothing to discredit how good the brothers are at their job. Half of the shop is used to sell auto parts while the other half is dedicated to fixing cars and Daryl's proud of everything they've been able to accomplish.

“Well look who finally decided to show up,” Merle says as Daryl walks into the back. “You gonna tell me what happened yesterday or are you just gonna leave me hanging?”

Daryl glances around the shop. There’s two other employees and several customers within hearing range. He knows he’s going to have to tell Merle what’s going on sooner or later, but right now he’s really not in the mood to talk and he doesn’t want everyone around them to hear the conversation. “Later,” he says, walking past Merle. “We’ve got work to do.”

“Okay then,” Merle says, looking at Daryl suspiciously. Daryl can tell he's dying to ask more questions but he knows it's probably not a good idea to ask them right now. He knows Merle can tell whatever had happened isn’t good, but he has enough sense to know when to push and when not to and right now it’s best if he just leaves Daryl alone. “We’ll talk later.”

Daryl nods and turns away from his brother, trying to get himself back under control. It’s hard to maintain a business sort of attitude when all he wants to do is go home and be with his family. Daryl mentally shakes himself, trying to prepare himself for the day he’s got ahead of him, before he turns towards the next customer and tries his best to push everything else to the back of his head.

* * *

Dixon Motors closes at six and Daryl sends everyone home while he and Merle close up. The second the doors close Merle’s decided he's waited long enough and begins to question Daryl. He’s always been impatient and clearly he’s fed up with being kept out of the loop.

“You’ve been quiet today, moody,” Merle says, seemingly choosing his words carefully. “That have anything to do with whatever kept you at home yesterday?”

“That has everything to do with what kept me home yesterday,” Daryl says, trying not to answer the question fully. If he’s being honest with himself he’s not sure what he should tell his brother. He may be rough around the edges but he’s protective as shit, him finding out that Shane’s been hurting Carl is not going to go over well and Merle doesn’t have the restraint that he and Rick do. He won’t think twice about making him pay and that could cause more problems than not.

“What, trouble in paradise wit’ Officer Friendly?” Merle asks, tone teasing. To someone who doesn’t know the situation it may sound like Merle’s not okay with his and Rick’s relationship but Daryl knows that’s not true. Back when they had first gotten together, Merle had tried everything he could to break them up. He didn’t like the fact that his little brother was shacking it up with a man, let alone cop, but over the years he’s grown to accept it. He’s come to care for his kids, treats them like they're his flesh and blood, and really likes the thought of him being their uncle.

“No,” Daryl says, hoping Merle would just drop it. “Well, I guess not really.” He’s really not in the mood to talk about this right now. All he wants to do is go home and make sure everything is okay.

“You wanna talk about it? Share your feelings with ol’ Merle?” Merle says, teasing lilt to his voice almost making Daryl smile. “We ain’t never been the gossipin’ type but I guess I can let this one slip. What is it? Rick not givin’ it to you good enough or somethin’? Get some new porn or some shit and get kinky, that’ll put a pip right back in your step. If that doesn’t work, go to one of those gay bars or somethin’. They got those in Atlanta don’t they?”

Daryl laughs, he can’t help it. The fact that Merle is trying to give him advice to spice up his and Rick’s sex life proves how far he’s come. He’s no longer the judgmental redneck this town thinks he is and Daryl’s never been more thankful than he is right now to have a brother like Merle. He may be prickly and hard to handle, but he sure as hell loves his family and would do anything for them.

“Jesus I wish it was something as simple as that,” Daryl says, sitting down in a roll away chair. “A botched sex life is something I can handle, this is much worse.”

“Stop beatin’ around the bush,” Merle says, taking a seat next to Daryl. His tone is no longer teasing and Daryl can tell he’s about to get really serious. Merle’s always been good at picking up on Daryl’s mood and adjusting his attitude accordingly, he can tell that whatever Daryl’s about to tell him is hard to talk about. “Clearly ya got somethin’ to say, so say it.”

Daryl sighs and runs his hands over his face, thumbs pressing against his eyes as he tries to gather is thoughts. “It’s about Shane,” Daryl says, taking a deep breath before he turns to look at his brother.

“He do something to the kids?” Merle asks, anger flicking in his eyes. Merle’s gone from concerned brother to overprotective uncle in a matter of seconds and all hopes Daryl has of Merle handling this with a little restraint are thrown out the window. This isn’t “negotiable Merle”, this is “I’m gonna stomp your damn face in Merle” and nothing is going to get him to calm down.

Daryl doesn’t answer, just gives him a look that confirms his suspicion. “What’d he do? Hit ‘em? Yell at ‘em? What?” Merle asks, his voice nothing but cold steel. Anyone who wasn't used to being around Merle would probably be afraid of him.

Daryl pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to gain a little control of the situation, before he turns back to Merle and opens his mouth. “He’s been hurting Carl for at least eight months now.”

“What do you mean by hurting? He been touching Carl? Hitting him? What?” Merle asks, jaw setting in a firm line.

“Raping,” Daryl supplies, making Merle’s face go red, hardly able to contain the disgust in his voice. “And hitting, biting, touching, pretty much anything you can think of he’s done to Carl.”

“That sorry excuse for a man has been putting his hands on your kid?” Merle asks, clenching his fists tightly. Merle’s steroid-induced muscles are taut with anger, veins popping out on his arms, and that’s when Daryl knows for sure Shane’s fucked. Merle’s patient when it comes to things like this, he can hold a grudge for years before he does anything, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes him, he will make Shane pay for this one way or the other.

“Yeah, he's been hurting my kid and there's nothing I can do about it," Daryl says, voice choking up. "He's sixteen, Merle, he shouldn't be going through stuff like this."

Merle sighs and shakes his head, trying to gather his thoughts. "How'd you find out?"

"On Sunday Judith walked in on Shane touching Carl. She got scared, ran back outside, and told me what happened later that day. I don’t think she really understands everything that’s going on,” Daryl says, “all she knows is that Shane hurt her brother and she hates him for it.”

“He better be rotting behind bars right now,” Merle says, “I don’t care what connections he has at that damn police station, he doesn’t get to get away with this.”

“Oh he is,” Daryl says, reassuring his brother. “But Lori is taking Shane’s side, refuses to believe her husband could have done such horrible things. She’s so fucking far in denial I don’t know what it’s going to take to convince her. Not to mention she seems to be hell-bent on proving that I’m the one who’s been hurting him. She even had the balls to claim she’s going to sue Rick for custody, apparently on grounds that they aren’t safe around me.”

Merle scoffs, shaking his head. “Like she could ever prove that. She’d never get full custody of those kids, especially not if she’s going to stand by Shane after everything he’s done. Those kids would never be happy without you and Rick, it's not hard to prove that.”

“I know, this entire situation is tearing Carl and Judith apart and Lori doesn't seem to care,” Daryl says, sighing. “Lori is basically abandoning her kids, Merle, and they don’t deserve that. I hate that I can’t do more for them. I should have seen it, should’ve known something was wrong. It’s my job to protect him, to take care of him, and I’ve been willingly dropping him off at the house of the man who’s been hurting him for months now.”

“Jesus Daryl,” Merle says, looking over at him. “There’s no way you could have known what’s been going on, kids are good at hiding shit like that. Nobody is going to blame you for what happened, it’s not your fault and it’s not Rick’s fault. The only one to blame here is Shane.”

“I blame me,” Daryl says, voice rising. “I fucking blame myself. I should have done more, should have protected him better. That’s my job and I fucked it all up. Carl and Judith are everything to me, I should have protected them from this.”

Daryl’s about to say more when his cellphone rings. Rick’s name pops up and Daryl knows he can’t ignore it. “Hello?” he says, trying to sound cheerful even though he feels like he’s dying inside.

“Hey babe,” Rick says, and Daryl instantly knows that something is wrong. His voice is off, a mixture of anger and sadness that doesn’t sit right with him, and Daryl’s mind races as he tries to figure out what might have happened at home.

“What’s wrong?” Daryl asks, waving off Merle’s attempt to listen in on the conversation. “Is everything okay?”

“Officer McDonald called,” Rick says and a deep feeling of dread settles in his stomach.

“What’d he have to say?”

“Shane made bail,” Rick says and Daryl’s face goes white.

“What the fuck do you mean he made bail?” Daryl says, standing up so fast his chair goes flying backwards. “I thought that was impossible given his charges.”

“He made bail?” Merle asks, also standing up, and once again Daryl waves him off. He needs to talk to Rick, find out what's going on, without his brother butting in.

“He shouldn’t have even been eligible for bail," Rick says, Daryl can hear just how angry he is, "but the judge who presided over his case is really close to Shane and Lori and decided to let him out. Trinaca shouldn’t have been given Shane’s case at all, he’s too close to them. McDonald told mean that an Atlanta judge was supposed to have been brought in to do the hearing but Trinaca pulled some strings and managed to pull it off.”

“Why didn’t we know his hearing was today?” Daryl asks, utterly confused. It blows his mind how, just like that, a man who had been sexually abusing his son for eight months could be set free. “And why the fuck was it so soon? He was only arrested two days ago.”

“It’s a small town and Shane’s still has connections at the station, even if 98% of the people there aren't taking his side. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen, but there's fuck all I can do about it now and it pisses me off. McDonald also wants us to bring Judith in for an interview, they want to get everything she knows about what happened.”    

“But she’s only eight!” Daryl exclaims, starting to pace the floor. “She hardly understands what’s going on, I don’t want her to have to do this. She broke down sobbing when she had to tell me what happened, how do you think she's going to react when she has to tell a complete stranger?”

“I know," Rick says, and Daryl can literally hear the worry in his voice. "I agree with you. This is going to be hard for her, hard for all of us, but I have to admit I see the logic in interviewing her. I hate it but she’s the one who initially saw what was going on and they’ve got to get her statement. It’ll only help the case, babe. McDonald thinks we have a sold case against Shane, and we do, but having additional evidence will only help us.”

"Okay," Daryl says, running his hand down his face. "Okay, but we're going to be with her every step of the way and if we feel like it's too much we call off the interview."

"I already told McDonald that exact thing and he agreed to it," Rick says and Daryl can't help but smile. They do think a lot alike when it comes to their kids.

"Does Carl know?” Daryl asks.

“Not yet, I was gonna tell him once I get off the phone with you but I think it might be better if I wait 'til you get home. That way we'll both be there for him, he's not going to handle this well and I want to make sure we're there for him.”

“Alright-” Daryl starts off, stopping once he sees Merle heading towards the door. He recognizes this side of his brother, it's the side that practically screams he's about to fuck shit up. He rushes to catch up to him and grabs a hold of his arms, preventing him from leaving. “Damn it Merle. Sorry Rick, I gotta keep my brother from going to prison.”

"I take it Merle heard the conversation and isn’t pleased?”

“Right you are, I’ll see you at home in about an hour okay? Bye, love you,” Daryl says, hanging up the phone. “What do you think you’re doing?” Daryl knows he sounds more like a parent scolding their kid for taking a cookie from the cookie jar without asking but he doesn't care.

“What’s it look like?” Merle asks, shaking off Daryl’s arm but doesn’t make a break for it again. “‘m going after Shane, the fucker never should have made it out of there. Now he’ll know what happens when you fuck with people I love, it's only fair.”

“No,” Daryl says, shaking his head vehemently. “This investigation can’t get fucked up. If the police know you did this because of what’s happened, it’ll get messy and I can’t let that happen. Carl deserves justice”

“You're right, Carl does deserve justice. That's why I'm going to go get it for him. There ain’t need to be an investigation if the man is dead,” Merle says, "and that's the best kind of justice I can get for Carl." Daryl can tell that Merle’s absolutely serious and that’s what scares him. “I’m the town crook, Daryl, that’s all people see me as. Believe me, I can make something up that doesn’t jeopardize you and Rick. I don’t care if I have to play it off as some botched robbery, Shane will pay for what he’s done. He doesn’t get to fuck up Carl and get away with it, not on my watch.”

“You’d do that?” Daryl asks, somewhat shocked. He knows Merle loves Judith and Carl, but he almost can’t believe that he’d be willing to kill, literally kill, just to avenge them. "You'd risk life in prison to get justice for Carl?"

Merle doesn’t miss a beat. “Hell fucking yeah,” he says. “There are two things you don’t fuck around with, kids and family. That fucker killed two birds with one stone when he decided it’d be okay to fuck with Carl and I’ll be damned if I let him get away with it. No one messes with my family, especially not a pansy bastard who thinks it’s okay to molest kids. If it makes you feel better, I won’t kill him. I’ll just really fuck him up, he deserves at least that much.”

“I can’t ask you to do this Merle,” Daryl says. There’s a part of him that doesn’t want Merle to do this, Merle could get in a lot of trouble for this and Daryl doesn’t want that to happen. But another part of him wants Shane to pay for what he’s done to Carl.

“You’re not askin’,” Merle says, lips twitching slightly. “I couldn’t protect you from him, the least I can do is protect your son from that bastard. Because Carl is your son, Daryl, no matter what Lori tells you, and that makes him my nephew. He’s family, and I will always stand by family. Shane hurt him in ways that can never be fixed. I don't care if there's still an impending trial, he's going to pay for that."

Merle doesn’t have to elaborate on who he thinks he couldn’t protect him from, he knows he means their father. Merle’s always felt bad about not being able to protect Daryl when they were younger, maybe protecting Carl now is his way of making up for that.

"I don't think you should do this," Daryl says, understanding that going after him will only cause even more problems. "I want justice for Carl as much as you do but not at the expense of losing my brother."

"With all do respect, lil' brother, you can't stop me," Merle says, looking over at Daryl. "You don't fuck with kids and that's that. Shane's out on bail, walking around like he's done nothing wrong, and Carl's going to be scarred for the rest of his life. Tell me how that's fair?"

Daryl doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. He nods, letting Merle know that he understands, and Merle gets the message loud and clear. “Take care of those kids of yours, they deserve parents like you and Rick,” Merle says, before he heads out the door.

Daryl doesn’t go after him, just watches him take off in his truck. There’s absolutely nothing Daryl could do or say that would change his mind, he knows this, and if Daryl’s being honest with himself he doesn’t think he wants to stop him. Shane hurt his son, it seems only fair that Merle do the same to Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter

"We have something to tell you,” Rick says softly, trying to find the right words to say. He and Daryl are sitting on one of the couches in their living, Carl’s sitting on the one next to them, as they try to break the news to their son. He’s already been through so much in the last couple of days, hell the last couple of months, and the last thing he wants to do is give him more bad news. He deserves that, and more, but Rick has his hands tied and can't do shit to make this situation any better. “And you’re not going to like it.”

“What?” Carl says, voice breaking slightly at the end. The look on his face breaks his heart and Rick has to fight back the urge to go hunt down Shane and end his life himself. Carl’s been through some really tough shit these past few days, his life has been hell for months now, and it only seems to be getting worse. His sister is the one who initially found out, his Mother refuses to take his side, and now Shane has made bail. It can't get any worse than this. 

Rick bites his lip and glances over at Daryl, trying to figure out the best way to tell him what’s happened, before he takes a deep breath and speaks. Carl's never liked it when people beat around the bush so Rick figures it's best if he just tells him how it is. “Shane made bail,” Rick says, trying to lighten the blow as much as he can. 

“What?” Carl says, mouth falling open in disbelief. “What the hell do you mean he’s out? That's supposed to be impossible.”

“He managed to move up his bail hearing, maneuver everything so that he got a sympathetic judge,” Daryl says, choosing his words carefully. “There’s a lot of people who haven’t taken his side but he’s still got some friends in high places. Before they could bring in a judge from out of town Shane’s bail hearing happened and a judge he’s got in his back pocket let him out.”

“I can’t believe this,” Carl says, standing up as he runs his hands through his hair. Rick can't help but notice how similar they look.

“I know,” Rick says this time, scratching the back of his head. “But Beth called with some promising news, the evidence she collected should be enough to put him away once this goes to trial.”

“Okay,” Carl says after a few more seconds of silence. He stands up, stretches so that his back pops several times, before he heads to the front door. He seems closed off and that makes Rick worry. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Are you, um, okay?” Rick says, trying to hide the worry in his voice. It doesn’t seem like Carl’s really reacting to the news at all and that worries Rick. He wants more than anything for all this to disappear but he doesn’t want Carl to get himself stuck in denial. That will only hurt him in the end.

“Yeah,” Carl says, pulling on his tennis shoes. His voice is quiet, reserved, and Rick can tell he’s trying to hold back his true feelings. “I just need some fresh air, need to clear my head. Don’t worry, I’ll be back later.”

“Okay,” Rick says, smiling at Carl. “Don’t be out too late and try to keep us updated on where you are.” Carl smiles before he turns and heads out the door, not even waiting long enough to give a verbal reply.

“Well that went well.”

* * *

Carl wipes angrily at the tears that spill down his cheeks as he steps out of the house. He’d tried so hard to keep everything hidden long enough to get out of the house, he really doesn’t want his Dad and Daryl to see him like this. They already feel guilty enough, he doesn’t want to add to those feelings any more than he already has.

He grabs his bike and peddles angrily up the street, trying to blow off steam. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that he’s sitting here, struggling to keep it together, while the man who ruined his life is walking around like nothing happened. It’s not fair that Rick and Daryl, the only parents he has left, have to work their asses off to try and keep their family together because of what Shane has done to him. It’s not fair that Judith, a little kid who doesn’t even fully understand everything that’s going on, is going to lose her mother because of this. His life is ruined, all because of Shane fucking Walsh.

The emotions pile up within Carl, refusing to dissipate, and he knows if he doesn’t do anything right now it’s just going to keep building and building until he explodes. He stops his bike long enough to pull out a cell phone and dial a phone number. It rings a few times before someone picks up. “Hey,” Carl says, gulping down the rising panic in his throat. “I really need to talk, is that okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: it hits at some heavy topics surrounding sexual abuse and if that may trigger you, please refrain from reading it. There's no graphic descriptions of the actual abuse however

Carl sits in the nearly empty coffee shop, biting his nails nervously. It’s been a while since he’s habitually bitten his nails, a nervous habit that Daryl helped him break years ago, but with everything that’s happened recently he can’t seem to stop himself from doing it again. He's been a wreck since everything has come out, he hardly eats and his dreams are plagued with nightmares he just can't seem to shake no matter how hard he tries, and for whatever reason biting his nails helps. It's way to switch his focus and decrease the anxiety he feels within him. He's sitting in the corner, position rendering him nearly invisible from the door and front window, trying not to draw too much attention to himself. The last thing he wants is a lot of people around once he starts to open up to Beth, the less people know the more comfortable he feels.

More than anything Carl wants to go to Patrick, he's the one he goes to when things get to be too much and he doesn't feel comfortable going to Rick and Daryl. But that conversation is going to be rather heavy and include a lot of emotions; he's not ready to navigate those waters yet. For now he'll see how this thing with Beth goes and move on from there.

Carl watches a guy in a business suit and tie order a cup of coffee and a bagel before he steps back out onto the street yelling into his Bluetooth. He’s far enough away from the other tables and front counter that he can’t be heard while still being close to talk to the barista if he needs to. Carl can just hear him say "Ryan is an idiot who'd lose his head if it wasn't attached, fire him" before the door is slamming closed after him. He knows he shouldn't be ease-dropping, but just like biting his nails it distracts him from the racing thoughts he has swirling inside his head. They're nothing but distractions, something that can help pull him out of his head, and Carl's almost at the point he'd be willing to watch an ant crawl around if it meant he'd be distracted.

Carl sighs heavily and clenches his hand into a fist, resting it on his knee as it starts to shake up and down. Despite the fact that biting his nails gives him some sort of relief, they’re already short enough and he really doesn’t want to make them any shorter. Besides, breaking the habit was hard enough when he was eight. It would only be ten times as hard now. He takes a drink of the cappuccino in front of him, savoring the sweet drink, before he sets the glass back down. Carl doesn’t really like coffee, he hardly even drinks it, but for whatever reason the local coffee shop was the first thing that had popped into his head.

The barista behind the counter steps into the back room and Carl presses his thumbs tightly against his eyes, trying to quell the rising panic he’s beginning to feel spread through him. It doesn’t help, the panic begins to spread and he knows he’s on the verge of hyperventilating. The more he thinks about Shane the worse it gets and there is no one around, not even the barista who’d been giving him sympathetic looks since he’d walked into the shop, to bring him back down. He thought it might be easier for him to sit and talk without anyone around him, hence the reason he had picked a cafe he knew wouldn't be busy at this time of hour, but right now he feels vulnerable and alone and he wishes the table around him were packed to the brim with chattering customers. At least then he wouldn’t feel so damn scared.

It’s the fact that Shane is out on bail, walking around free to do whatever he feels like, that hits him the hardest. It pisses him off, after all the guy is an absolute monster, but more than anything, even though he has a hard time admitting it, it scares him. He knows Shane would be an idiot to try and contact him, especially not in a public place like this, but that does nothing to dispel the coils of fear inside him. After all Shane has been known to make stupid, brash, decisions and who's to say that he'll keep his distance from Carl?

Carl glances at the clock on his phone as his leg starts to shake uncontrollably. He knows it’s been less than ten minutes since he had talked to Beth on the phone but he really wishes she would hurry it up. The barista finally makes her way back to the front and Carl feels a tiny tendril of panic release itself from the tight coil in the pit of his stomach. At least he’s not out here by himself anymore.

A few minutes after the barista returns the bell above the door tings and Carl sighs in relief when he sees Beth step through. She scans the room, looking for Carl, and smiles at him when she sees him sitting in the corner. “Can I get you anything?” the barista asks, wiping her hands off on a towel.

“No,” Beth says, smiling back at her. “I’m good, thanks though.” She makes his way towards his table and sits down in front of him. He's not sure why but Beth's the person he had instinctively reached out to when he started to spiral. They aren’t close, hell Carl only met her once and they hadn't even talked for that long, but there was just something about her that made him feel safe and secure. He didn’t get much of that feeling these days, he’d like to hold on to that as much as possible, and the fact that she's been through a similar situation only helps.

"Hey," she says cheerfully, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. She smiles and folds her hands in front of her, he's only known her for a few days but she always seems so cheerfully happy and for whatever reason that helps calm him down. She just has that effect on him.

Carl tries to smile and act cheerful in response but he knows he's failing, he just can't get up the energy to act like everything's okay when it's not. He's done enough of that in front of his family and friends and he's tired of it. "Thanks for coming. I know we don’t know each other but I just needed to get some things off my chest and you’re the only person I can talk to about this."

"No problem," Beth says and Carl can tell by the look on her face that she really does mean it. "I told you to call me if you needed to talk, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm always available. You can talk about anything, even if it's just a normal conversation, I've got all day kid."

"I have no one to talk to," Carl says, biting his lip. "Judith is too young to understand what is going on and even if she was older I could never talk to her about this, I don't want her to know I'm falling apart. My friends don't know, at least I think they're still in the dark about what's happened, and I'm too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone. My uncle Merle is an incredibly over-protective, hot headed, ex-con who loves his family more than anything and doesn't care if he ends up in prison. He'd have no qualms killing Shane for what he's done and I'd rather he not go to prison for the rest of his life. My dad and Daryl can hardly control their rage whenever the topic gets brought up, Shane is definitely number one on their hate list, and it hurts them to hear me talk about what happened. They are so supportive and they've always been there for me but I don't want to make this any harder than it already is on them and it hurts too much. I just- I don't know what to do."

"Well you can talk to me," Beth says. "I like you, Carl, but I hardly know you and that's actually a good thing in this situation. You don't feel like you have to protect me from the truth. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know, someone who's not involved in the situation. It makes it easier to get out the horrible stuff that's really hard to talk about. Plus, I know what it's like to be victimized by someone who is supposed to protect you, I totally understand where you're coming from."

Carl's silent for a few minutes, trying to figure out where he should start. There's so much he needs to get off his chest and he doesn't know where to begin. "He made bail," he says finally, starting with the most recent problem. He stares down at his cappuccino, unable to meet Beth's gaze.

"I know," Beth says, sighing heavily. She bites her lip and scratches the back of her head. "I heard about it earlier today and I was there when he was released. The justice system here is really fucked up, I thought for sure they'd see the wrong in letting someone like him go but apparently they're too stupid to follow through. Trinaca should not have been allowed on that case, him and his wife have dinner with Lori and Shane at least twice a month."

"Yeah well, what's done is done," Carl says. His leg starts to shake uncontrollably and he's finding it increasingly harder to keep it together. He's feeling so many emotions right now all at once and it's overwhelming. "Apparently everyone thinks I'm lying."

"Not everyone thinks that," Beth says. "Some people are too stubborn and stupid to see the truth, but others don't feel that way."

"My Mom," Carl says, emphasizing the last word, "is taking his side. My own mother." Carl looks down at the table in front of him. "The one person who is supposed to take my side hates my guts. She's accused me of lying, of seducing him, of covering for someone else. Now she's starting to blame Daryl for it, like he would ever do anything like that."

"Sometimes," Beth says slowly, "our brains are incapable of comprehending atrocious events, especially when it involves someone we love, and it's hard for us to come to an understanding of exactly what is going on. We use defense mechanisms to... compensate for thoughts our conscious just can't handle and try to logically explain the situation in a way that paints the accused in a better light. I think Lori is having a hard time believing someone she loves a lot is capable of hurting someone, especially when that someone is her son."

"That just sounds like a fancy way of saying she's in denial," Carl says. "She can't face the fact that her husband is a pedophile so she's coming up with illogical conclusions to justify what he's been accused of."

"Yeah," Beth says. "Exactly. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you, I don't think she hates you Carl. She's just... having a hard time wrapping her mind around something like this."

"It doesn't matter," Carl says, starting to get angry. He's not mad at Beth, he knows she's speaking the truth, he's furious at his mom for not taking his side and accusing Daryl of doing something horrible. "She's supposed to take my side, I don't care if she's confused and having a hard time. What about me, huh? She doesn't think I'm having a hard time right now? I'm fucking terrified, I'm hurt, and I'm angry. She doesn't just get to check out because her precious Shane got caught, Judith deserves better than that."

"You deserve better than that," Beth adds. "This just doesn't affect Judith Carl, it affects you as well. Lori means a lot to you, I mean she's your mom. I know you don't want to lose her."

"I've lost her before," Carl says softly. "She's completely checked out and left me and Judith behind before, it'll be easier to get over her this time. Besides, I don't need a mom when I have a Daryl. He's like another dad to me."

Beth has a feeling Carl isn't addressing the pain he feels because of his mom's reaction like he should be but she's not going to keep bringing it up. He's done with this topic and that's okay with her, she gets not wanting to talk about everything. Carl has the right to keep something to himself. "It gets better," Beth says instead, choosing her words carefully. "It gets easier to function and eventually the constant fear you're feeling goes away. You start letting people in again, you relax around the people you love, you start to feel safer and okay in your own skin. You start to gain back those pieces of yourself you thought you had lost."

Beth sighs and starts playing with the ends of her hair. "I don't want to lie to you and say you'll never feel pain again when it gets better because that's a flat out lie, anyone who says otherwise is a liar. It never fully goes away. Time doesn't heal all wounds like everyone claims, it just makes it easier to handle them. I wish I could say that this will just disappear and you will never have to deal with it again but that's not the case. I was molested by my babysitter when I was fourteen, over ten years ago, and I still have nightmares about it every once in a while. They don't happen every night and they aren't as severe as they used to be when this first happened to me. Your brain never forgets trauma, unless it's as a defense mechanisms which is another story entirely, and it's gonna stick with you forever. I still have days when all I can feel are hands and pain and hurt. But it does get better, Carl, truly it does. My attack no longer rules my life, I'm happy in my skin and love my life. I'm engaged, I have a career that I really love, I have family that loves me, and I’d say I'm doing pretty well."

Carl wants to laugh, everyone always say it'll get better. That seems to be the communal response to every angst ridden teen's question, 'don't worry, it'll get better.' Carl's not sure if it ever will get better, right now it certainly doesn't feel like it, but he has to admit he trusts Beth's judgement. It's nice to hear advice from someone who truly does understand what he's going through, not someone who thinks they understand. "Well right now this sucks."

"I know," Beth says softly, looking over at him. It's not a look pity or even sadness really, though he knows that she's saddened by what's happened to him. Her expression is nothing but understanding and that's more comforting than anything else he's experienced since Judith had told Daryl what she saw. "Believe me. I get it. It sucks, it's painful, and nothing that I say will make that any better. But if you need me, anytime or place, all you have to do is call me. I know what it's like to feel alone, even among those you love the most, and the last thing I want is for you to feel like that. I didn't have much of a support system when I was molested, I don't want that to happen to you."

Carl doesn't say anything for a while, there's really nothing to say, and Beth seems to be content in his silence. She knows how much those words mean to him and there's no need for him to reaffirm it. "I'm scared," Carl says finally, so quiet he can hardly hear himself speak. "Really scared. He's out, he could be right outside this shop and I wouldn't even know it. He said if I ever told anyone he was going to hurt the people I love and then kill me. And he'll do it, I know he will. He's a lot more dangerous than people give him credit for and he means what he says. He's going to try and hurt me, Beth, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

The last sentence is choked up, Carl can't speak anymore because he knows it'll just come out wrong, and he has to bite his lip to stop the tears that are threatening to spread. He's never admitted to anyone, not even himself, just how terrified he is of Shane, especially now that he knows Carl told. He's never been so scared in his life, and he's not just scared for him. He's scared for his family as well.

"Nobody's going to let that happen," Beth says seriously. She seems to sense just how on edge Carl is and reaches out to take his hand. "I'm serious, Carl. Nobody. He cannot hurt you, not anymore. The trial will start soon enough and we both know he's guilty, the jury will find him as such and then he'll be behind bars for the rest of his life."

"But he's out now and-"

"That means nothing. Even if I have to personally make sure he stays away, he won't come near you. He knows the conditions of his parole and what it means if he breaks them, he's not going to do that," Beth says. "You know that. He wants to maintain this innocent appeal, he doesn't want Lori to think there's a shred of truth in what you have to say, and in order to play that card he has to stay away from you. If anything were to happen to you he'd be behind bars so fast his head will spin, he doesn't want that because he knows what happens to child molesters in prison. Besides. Rick and Daryl aren't going to let him anywhere near you and there's going to be a patrol car keeping an eye on things to make sure he stays away. You're safe."

Carl takes a deep breath and lets it out. He knows everything Beth says is true, he just needed someone to tell him that. Hearing someone else say it makes it seem more believable. He trusts her judgement on this better than he trusts his own.

"How about we talk about something less depressing?" Beth suggests and Carl heaves a sigh of relief. He's already told Beth more than he's told anyone and he really just wants to have a normal conversation right now.

"Okay," Carl says, smiling slightly. "That sounds like a really good idea right now."

Carl and Beth sit there, talking about whatever comes to mind. They blow through topics, one right after another, and Carl feels light and carefree. It's a nice feeling, a feeling he doesn't feel much of these days, and he's so glad he had decided to call Beth. They sit like that, talking and laughing for another hour. The cafe is starting to get busier now as it gets later. Carl glances at the clock on the wall and realizes they've been talking for nearly two hours now.

"I should probably go now, I don't want Dad and Daryl to worry," Carl says.

"Yeah, Tara's probably home by now and wondering where I am, Beth says, standing up.

Carl stands up and hugs Beth. He feels a million times lighter than he had earlier today and it's a good feeling for him, he'll never be able to thank Beth enough for what she's done for him. "Thank you," Carl says. "For everything, it really means a lot to me."

"Anytime," Beth says, smiling, and Carl knows she means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: there's mentions of sexual abuse but nothing is graphic at all

Rick’s cellphone rings while he and Daryl are watching a movie with Judith and Carl. He doesn't recognize the number immediately but he answers the phone anyway with a hesitant hello. 

“Hey Rick,” Rick hears over the phone and almost drops the device in shock. She sounds nervous, like she isn't sure what she's supposed to say, and Rick doesn't blame her.

Rick recognizes the voice immediately and gets up from the couch before heading outside, quietly shutting the door after him. He has no idea where this conversation is going and he doesn't want Carl and Judith to overhear anything that might be said.

“Roxy?” Rick asks once he's outside, hardly able to believe his ears. He hadn’t spoken to Roxy, Lori’s older sister, since the divorce was finalized. They’d always gotten along great, she was a big help when Lori was going through her ‘crazy’ period after Judith's birth, and Rick’s always liked her.

“It’s been a long time,” she says, laughing slightly. “Perhaps too long, I just never felt right contacting you after everything that had happened.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Rick says, smiling softly. “How've you been?”

“Good,” she says through the phone as Rick sits down on the front steps. “Me and Jake are still together, had two more kids. Things have been great.”

“That’s good,” Rick says, not sure what he’s supposed to say. He’s sure she’s not calling to catch up, not with what’s been going on lately, and he’s just waiting for her to bring up what she really wants to talk about.

“Yeah,” Roxy says, silence becoming a little too awkward for either one of them. After a few seconds she brings up what they both know is on her mind. “So I heard about what happened, about what Shane did.”

“You gonna tell me my kid is lying through his teeth like Lori believes?” Rick says, sounding a lot harsher than he had intended to sound. He just doesn't know what he'll do if Roxy takes the same stance as her sister.

“No,” Roxy says, choosing her words carefully, “I just need to hear it from you, everything. The way Lori tells it you and Daryl have basically coerced Carl into lying to get back at her. She seems to think this is some kind of punishment for what she's done in the past.”

Rick sighs, pressing his fingers against his eyes. "Lori, like always, is making everything about her." He doesn't want to offend Roxy but he's not going to sugarcoat the situation either.

Suddenly, for reasons unbeknownst to him, he feels the urge to tell her everything that's happened so far. Maybe it’s because she’s always been easy to talk to, but for whatever reason he can't seem to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He tells her everything, leaving nothing out, and soon enough he’s run out of things to say. But the silence between them doesn’t last long.

“I know you,” Roxy says, “and I know Carl. It may have been a long time since we’ve talked but I still know you. There’s no way in hell you would make this shit up, you’re a better man than that and Carl’s a good kid. If you say this is what happened, I have no reason to believe either one of you is lying.”

“That’s a relief,” Rick says, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s nice to know you aren’t like your sister.”

“You know how she is, she’s always been easily manipulated and has never made good decisions when it comes to men. Except for you,” Roxy says, laughing, “of course. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her, no matter what she thinks, and you’re a hell of a lot better man than Shane will ever be. ‘specially not after this.”

Rick laughs and shakes his head. “Well thank you for that, at least someone thinks I’m worth it.”

“She took him back,” Roxy says, changing the subject before it gets awkward, “didn’t she? After Shane got released on bail she let him back into that house.”

“Yeah,” Rick says. “She did. He’s at home, safe and sound in his bed, and my kid is traumatized by what he did to him.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Roxy says. “I love my sister a lot, but she made a stupid, naive, mistake letting that man back into her house. Hopefully he has enough decency to stay away from Carl.”

“That’s not what I’m most worried about,” Rick says. Of course he’s worried about Carl running into him, he doesn't know what he'd do if Shane came in to contact with his son, but he knows that Shane’s not stupid enough to try and make contact with Carl. He's more worried about the twins. They might not be his kids but that doesn’t mean he wants them in the same house as Shane, who knows what he's going to do to them. “My biggest worry is the twins, they’re still in that house with him. Will he hurt them? Probably not. But I don’t really want to take that chance. Lori loves those boys, but I don't really trust her to make the right decisions for them right now.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Roxy says. “I wanted to call and hear the story from you first before I made my decision. I can't leave my nephews in that house with Shane, I don't trust Lori to make the right decisions either. Besides, CPS will take them from her anyway once they get their asses in gear. It won’t be hard to convince her to let them stay with me, at least until this whole thing is settled.”

“Thank God,” Rick says, sighing in relief. “That’s just one thing less I have to worry about.”

“If you need anything,” Roxy says, meaning every word she’s about to say, “don’t hesitate to call, and I mean that. I know it might be a little weird, given the circumstances, but I’m always here.”

“Thanks Rox,” Rick says. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

The front door opens as Rick’s saying goodbye and Daryl steps out, sitting down next to him. “Hey,” he says, wrapping an arm around Rick’s waist. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Rick says, smiling as he leans into Daryl’s embrace. “I am, actually.”

* * *

Merle waits until a few days after Shane is released to make his move. Most people don’t realize he’s a very patient guy and can wait as long as he needs to, no matter what the situation is, to get what he needs done. Waiting a little bit, even if it’s only a few days, gives him enough time to gather his thoughts and calm himself down. Despite what he had said to Daryl he doesn’t want to kill Shane. Who knows how that could affect Carl and right now he wants to do everything in his power to minimalize the pain he’s already feeling.

He pulls up in front of the local bar, a sleazy location that only attracts as many customers as it does because it’s the only bar in town, and turns off the car. Merle’s got lots of connections in this shithole of a town, a few of which owe him favors and had agreed to help him get Shane alone. The conversation they're about to have is better if it's kept between the two of them.

Merle waits outside for a few minutes before he hears the soft sound of the door tinkling and watches Shane step outside, alone. Shane heads around the side of the building, probably to go smoke, and Merle wastes no time in following after him.

Sure enough, Shane leans up against the side of the building and pulls out a cigarette. Before he can even bring it to his lips, Merle’s on him. He presses him against the wall with his arm against his throat, not wanting him to make a break through. Merle can tell immediately he knows exactly who he is, Shane’s always been a coward who can’t hide his fear to save his ass, and is terrified of what's about to happen.

"We both know ya know exactly who I am,” Merle says, putting more pressure on Shane’s throat. He can tell it’s getting harder for him to breathe but after what’s happened to Carl he doesn’t give a shit.

“I'm considered a rough-and-tumble redneck,” Merle continues, “who’s not someone to fuck with. I am vicious, I don't care if I go back to prison, and I'm not afraid to get my hands bloody, literally. But, I do consider myself a civilized redneck and have a code which I live by. You don't fuck with my family and you don't fuck with anyone's kids.”

“We both know, despite what yer naive wife thinks, you've been fuckin’ with my nephew,” Merle says, gritting his teeth. Shane tries to speak but Merle cuts him off by pressing his arm against his throat before he can even squeak out a sound. “Don't waste yer breath ‘cause I swear if I hear one lie come out of yer mouth I'm gonna cut yer tongue out, don’t fuckin’ tempt me.”

Shane’s eyes go wide but he doesn’t attempt to speak again and Merle smiles, loosening the grip he has on him ever-so-slightly. At least he knew how to keep his mouth shut when told. “See, I’ve reached a sort of dilemma. My brother doesn't want me to kill ya, despite the fact I wanna rip yer dick off and shove it down yer goddammed throat, and I've agreed to try for my niece and nephew. They've been through enough, I don't think their uncle committin' murder will make them feel any better, and if I can settle this without going to prison I'd like to try, for their sake. I care about them, a lot, and the less pain they feel the better.”

Merle lets that message sink in before he continues. “So, the way I see it ya have two options. Only. Two. One, ya go down to that police station and ya admit to everythin'. Ya tell them exactly what the fuck you've been doing to Carl, you admit to all the charges, and ya don't cut no fuckin' deal."

“Why the hell would I do that?” Shane says, once he realizes Merle’s pausing for some sort of reaction from him. “I’d go to prison for the rest of my life, I don't want that.”

“'cause,” Merle says, scowling, “the other option is me killin' ya right here without hesitatin'. 'm a very patient man, Shane, with connections all over the world. If ya try and run, if ya attempt to thwart me, I will hunt ya down and kill ya. Do not test me, 'm nothin' but a man of my word.”

He lets that message sink in, watches Shane’s eyes as he frantically tries to process everything that's happened, before he smiles. “Ya tortured my nephew,  _my brother’s kid._ Ya put yer hands on him and got his mama to believe you're innocent, 'm not going to let any chance of ya getting off the hook happen. You either turn yourself in or I gut ya like a fuckin' fish. Yer choice, but make it quick. Ya have four days.”

Merle steps away from Shane and punches him in the stomach, watching him double over and fall to the ground, before he steps away and turns back to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter

The next day Carl and Daryl are fulfilling their weekly ritual by watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones together in the living room. Rick doesn't really like the show, too much violence and sex for his taste and the politics of it make his head spin, while Judith is much too young to watch it. Instead, to make it up to Judith, every Sunday night while the season is on air Rick takes Judith out and the two of them do something together while Carl and Daryl watch it. Tonight, he's taken her and her best friend to get ice cream at Dairy Queen.

It’s his and Daryl's thing, watching Game of Thrones together, and it's something the both of them make sure they never bail on. Carl and Daryl both look forward to Sundays, which also entails their conversations throughout the week that are sparked from the newest episode, and Carl is incredibly grateful that they are still going to do it despite everything that has been going on lately. He needs some normalcy in his life, something that doesn't make his skin crawl, and Game of Thrones with Daryl will always do that for him. It's the surefire way to cheer him up, no matter what mood he is in.

However, despite the fact that he's trying to focus on his usual routine and the intense action and thrilling drama that plays out on screen is rather enticing, Carl is having a hard time focusing on the show. He's usually completely invested in it, hanging on every word and conniving action that takes place, but right now he can't stop his brain from flashing back to the conversation, if you could even call it that, Daryl and his mom had had with each other back at the police station.

He hasn’t been able to get how his mother had treated Daryl, telling him that he didn’t matter because he wasn’t their “real” father, out of his head since he had witnessed it. His mother has always had problems with Daryl acting as her kids' parent, maybe it's because she thinks her kids will love him more than her, and she doesn't have a problem with showing her disdain for him.

He and, unfortunately, Judith have both picked up on it but they both usually ignore it. It was just something that happened all the time, Lori calling out Daryl for something she claims he has no right to do, so it’s never seemed like a big deal to him. Daryl knows how much he and Judith love him, how much they value him as a parent, so Carl has never felt the need to express it. But, given Daryl’s reaction at the police station, he thinks he may have dropped the ball on that last part a little bit.

Now that he thinks about it, he’s not sure he’s ever told Daryl just how much he means to him. He’s never called him dad, even though Judith does it all the time, and has never outright told him he loved him. Carl has always assumed that Daryl knew how he felt so there was no reason to tell him such.

He loves Daryl, just as much as he loves his dad, and the idea that Daryl might think he doesn’t matter in his life is heartbreaking. He’s been there for him since before Judith was born, Daryl’s the one who taught him how to ride a bike for crying out loud. He’s always there, no matter what, when they need him. He doesn’t make excuses and he always delivers on his promises. Now that this has all festered in his mind for a few days, he’s enormously frustrated that his mom had just discarded Daryl’s presence like it was nothing. And, if he’s being honest with himself, he feels like a really shitty person for never acknowledging his love for him out loud in an obvious way.

“She’s wrong, you know,” Carl says, unable to keep quiet any longer, though his gaze never leaves the television the last thing on his mind is Daenerys’ quest for liberation. “She’s wrong about everything.”

"Who?” Daryl asks with a soft laugh, flicking his eyes towards Carl who’s sitting next to him on the couch. “Cersei? She’s definitely not made the best decisions lately, though I s’pose ya can’t necessarily blame her fer everythin’.”

Carl laughs and shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. “Oh, she’s definitely wrong and I’m almost certain she has a few screws loose in her head. But I was talking about Mom, about what happened at the police station. She’s wrong.”

Daryl, sensing this conversation was important and deserves his undivided attention, pauses the recording and turns towards Carl so he can focus more clearly on him. “I know she’s wrong,” Daryl says, frowning slightly as he contemplates what he should say next. “Yer Dad an’ I both believe ya, Carl. We’ll always take yer side, no matter what, and ya know that.”

“I mean she’s wrong about you,” Carl says, picking at his nails, switching the conversation in a different direction. He’s nervous, he’s not exactly what he should say, but he knows he has to say something. He can’t let Daryl keep thinking he doesn’t matter to them.

Daryl knits his brows together and looks down at Carl, slightly confused.

“What she said in the police station,” Carl says, clarifying what he had just said slightly, “about you was all wrong. I think she’s just jealous, maybe a little hurt, and lashing out the only way she knows how to: with words. You have a bigger connection with us than she does, you have for years, and she knows it. That’s got to kill her, thinking her kids have another parent they might like more than her.”

“I’ve never attempted to replace Lori, Carl,” Daryl says softly, “ya know that. Rick an’ I have been an advocate for you kids havin’ some form of relationship with her from the start as long as it’s beneficial to your health. I’ve never wanted to get in the way of that, not once.”

“I know,” Carl says, “and somehow I think that makes it worse in her eyes. Taking care of us seemingly comes so easy to you, you know what we need without us even needing to say it, and she hates that. She doesn’t know how to deal with us and we're her own kids, Daryl, you know that. Until recently she thought Judith still needed blankie to sleep at night. You’re a better parent to us and she hates you for it. She loves us, I know she does, and she’d do almost anything for her kids. But I also know she has a new family with new kids and new priorities. They come first, before we do, and there’s no denying that.”

Carl watches Daryl’s face for any signs that he may be wrong in his statement. Despite the fact that he’s the one who came to the conclusion and had realized this long ago he was still falsely hoping Daryl might have a different opinion. No such luck though, the both of them know what Carl says is true.

 “I love her,” Carl continues, playing with his thumbs, “a lot, and that will never change. But I don’t think I’ve ever fully gotten over what she did to us; I think she senses that and takes it out on you because she can’t take it out on me. I mean I forgive her, I love her, and she’s my mom. But forgiveness doesn’t have to mean reconciliation, you know? She left us and she hurt Dad, I’ve never forgotten that. And now that she’s taken Shane’s side, now that she refuses to believe me paired with everything else, I can’t stand her. I'm don't trying to earn her love, I can't keep running myself ragged to try and please her. Does that make me a horrible son?”

“Jesus, Carl,” Daryl says, shifting his position quickly so that he’s closer to him. “Of course it doesn’t. You’re a good person, an amazing son, and you have no idea how much you make me proud. Don’t you ever, not for even a second, think that your feelings for your mother make you a bad person. She’s given you a hundred reasons to hate her and only a few to love her, your opinions are justified.”

Carl is silent for a few seconds, taking in Daryl’s support for him, before he continues. He’s had mixed feeling about his mother for a long time now, it’s good to hear Daryl tell him those are okay. “I can’t stand the fact that she continuously puts you down and tries to make you feel like you’re not important to us.”

"Okay,” Daryl says, stretching his arm across the back of the couch. “Listen, Carl, don’ worry ‘bout what yer mama says ‘bout me. I can take care of m’self. She’s jus’ scared, maybe a lil’ jealous, and she’s never liked me, not even when yer parents were still married. She’s always hated me and she always needs something to blame, I just seem to be the obvious choice. It’s jus’ talk, kid, that’s all it is. And yeah, okay, technically ‘m not yer father -”

“Bullshit,” Carl says, not hesitating to tell Daryl how he really feels. It’s about time he finally tells Daryl exactly what he feels about him. “I don't care about who's technically my parent and neither does Judith. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much you mean to me. You have always been there for me, _always,_ no matter what. Even when my parents were still together, you were like the crazy uncle who cared about me and Judith more than anything else in the world.”

Carl pauses to make sure his words are sinking in with Daryl before he continues. “You saved my Dad's life, Daryl. I love my mother but she's not an easy person to live with and an even harder person to love. She made my dad's life a living hell, that’s the truth, and without you I don't think he would have ever moved on. He would have stayed in a loveless marriage that was toxic for him just so that we could have our mother in our lives,” Carl says.

“She is a liar, she uses the same excuse for everything, she’s vindictive, and she’s a very hateful and vengeful person. She has twisted priorities and a fairly screwed up past that combine together and leave her making horrible decisions that she always seems to have a way to talk herself out of.”

Carl figures it might not be the best thing to make a list of everything he hates about his mother but he can’t help it. He’s angry at her for continuously attacking Daryl and he’s incredibly hurt that she’s deciding to take Shane’s side. Nothing could ever prepare him for the pain his mother has caused him.

“That’s the type of person she is; we both know it. She’s got her own problems, I get that. Really, I do. But she can’t keep using that as an excuse whenever she’s asked to step up or be there for us, which she does entirely too much.” Carl can’t even count the number of times Lori has fallen through on he and Judith, she’s checked out and failed to support them multiple times when they needed her most leaving Rick and Daryl to pick up the pieces, and there’s no denying it.

“You would never do that,” Carl continues, looking up at Daryl. “Ever. You’ve never missed a birthday or holiday, you’ve attended every school function we’ve ever had, you make sure you come to all of my baseball games and you even let Judith put you in a tutu because it helps her practice for her dance class. Mom has missed birthdays and baseball games, she's only been to one of Judith's dance recitals and she's been in the same program since she was five, and shes never there when we really need her. Not like you.”

Carl is pleased to see a smile on Daryl’s face and he seriously hopes this is getting through to him because it’s incredibly important that Daryl understands his feelings. “You encourage us, you love us, you are always there for us. You have never once given up on us and you take our side no matter what. When I told you Shane was hurting me, you wanted to kill him. You took my side right away and you never doubted me for a second.”

He pauses before he says what he is going to next, realizing it’s truer than anything he’s ever said, because it’s hard for him to admit let alone say it out loud. “Mom doesn't care about us half as much as you do, she hasn’t done half as much for us as you have, and that makes you our Dad. You’re family; blood be damned.”

Carl watches Daryl carefully, he’s never been good at expressing emotion but Carl knows Daryl well enough to pick up on the things that most others wouldn’t. He doesn’t outright show it, but Carl can tell just how much what he had said means to Daryl. Carl’s never told him so bluntly how much he loves him, at least he’s not sure he has. Daryl has done so much for them and he has never, not once, asked for any sort of payment. He loves his kids with all his heart and he doesn’t expect anything in return. That’s where Daryl and Lori differ.

“Thanks kid,” Daryl says, his voice gruffer than usual which Carl suspects may be because he’s having problems keeping his emotions under control, before he leans forward and presses his lips against Carl’s forehead. “I love ya, more’an anything, and that means a lot to me. I’ll always be here for ya, not matter what, and you will always be my son. No matter what anyone says.”

Carl smiles and presses a little closer to Daryl before turning back towards the TV, signaling the end of their conversation. They’ve said all that needs to be said already and there’s no need for them to say anymore. “Hey, is it okay if I spend the night at Patrick’s tonight? It’s been a while since we’ve hung out and I really need to see him. After this episode, obviously, I’m not bailing on Game of Thrones night for no one.”

“Of course,” Daryl says laughing, pressing play on their show.

“Thanks Dad,” Carl says, not really thinking about exactly what that entails. If he had been looking at Daryl and not the T.V. he would have seen just how much that meant for the man who would always be there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this while rewatching the first season of Game of Thrones with my mom and I couldn't resist the chance at putting it in this chapter. 
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly there's no excuse for why it's taken me so long to update. I've kind of fallen in a Walking Dead funk and haven't been that motivated to write for the fandom but I'm back and I'm better than ever (okay not really better than ever but I am back).
> 
> This one is rather emotional. Carl opens up a lot about what he's been feeling, even more so than when he talked to Beth, and it gets pretty emotional. Also, I realized that before last chapter I hadn't talked about Patrick at all and it made his sudden appearance feel a little weird to me. So I went back and added him in chapters 5 and 10. It isn't much, just a small mention of him, so you don't have to go back and reread anything if you don't want to. It's still the same story.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse but there are no graphic details, it's mostly just feelings which can be even more triggering than reading about the actual act so please be careful.

Carl lays back on Patrick’s bed, staring up at the ceiling, with Patrick spread out beside him. They’re close enough that their arms can touch but far enough away that Carl doesn’t feel like he’s being crowded. He was terrified that being so close to Patrick would cause him to panic but his touch is as soothing as it always has been.

They’ve been lying next to each for about twenty minutes, staring up at the ceiling as they bask in each other’s presence. It’s not awkward, nothing between them ever is, and Carl’s incredibly grateful for that. Patrick has always felt safe to him and nothing is ever going to change that. They’ve been friends since they were young, before Judith was born, and Patrick will always be important to him.

“I’m sure you’ve heard by now,” Carl says, suddenly terrified. He’s been trying to muster up the courage to break the silence since he had first go there, but every time he opened his mouth he couldn’t get the word out. Now that they’re there, out in the open, there’s no turning back and he’s terrified of how Patrick will react.

“Yeah,” he says slowly, almost as if he was also trying to find the words to say. “You know how news travels around town, everyone is going to know. Especially because Shane is a cop.”

“Well?” Carl asks, purposefully making the question vague.

“Well what?” Patrick answers, forcing Carl to elaborate.

“Well, what do you think?” Carl needs to get Patrick’s opinion on the situation but he's still not sure how to go about it. He decides to just be blunt, it usually works out pretty well.

“Shane’s a pig,” Patrick says, pushing his thick glasses so they were further up on his nose. “They better keep him away from all of us or he’s going to die.”

“What do you mean all of us?” Carl asks. He’s no longer focusing on the ceiling, instead he’s shifted his focus to his hands. His nails are short and brittle, the skin surrounding them cracked and bleeding. He’s been chewing on his nails again; a nervous habit he broke a long time ago that’s just started up again.

“Are you kidding? Carl, half the town is enraged at what he’s done to you,” Patrick says with all the sincerity he can gather. “And that goes double for the people who love you. My parents are disgusted with what he’s done; I would go after him myself if I didn’t know he could easily kick my ass. I’m sure your parents want to strangle him and don’t even get me started on Merle; I don't even want to know what horrors he's been thinking up. A lot of people, some of them dangerous, love you and would do anything for you. I can't imagine any of us aren't.”

“So you believe me?” Carl asks hesitantly. “You don’t think I’m making this up?” Just thinking about the possibility that Patrick might not believe him makes him sick to his stomach. He doesn't know what he’d do if he lost Patrick. In a way, Patrick is more important to him than his own mother is and that is a sad sentiment.

Patrick freezes and props himself up on one arm so he can get a good look at Carl beside him. “Please tell me you’re joking. Of course I believe you, you would _never_ lie about something like this. I could never take anyone’s side but yours. If you say he’s hurting you, Shane’s hurting you. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

Carl feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. Not only has he told Patrick what’s been happening to him, but he’s also taking his side. His best friend doesn’t think he’s lying and Carl can’t even begin to explain how important that is to him. That feeling is soon squashed by the cruel reality that his own mother can’t show him the same support.

“My mom doesn’t,” Carl says softly, glancing up at Patrick. “At first she thought I was making the whole thing up, now she thinks I’m lying to protect Daryl.”

“What?” Patrick says, clearly outraged.

“She doesn’t believe me, Pat,” Carl says, struggling to hold back tears as his eyes start to water. “She thinks I’m lying.”

“I can’t believe she would do that,” Patrick says, unsure of what to say. “Jesus, that’s horrible. What is wrong with her?”

“It’s okay,” Carl says, clearly lying. Patrick can read Carl just about as well as Daryl and Rick can, maybe even more so, and he’ll know when he’s lying. He always does. “I mean, I accepted a long time ago that she doesn't love us as much as she used to. I’m really not that surprised and it’s okay, really. I’m okay.”

Carl’s starting to ramble and he knows Patrick sees right through him because of it.

“That doesn't make it hurt any less,” Patrick says, hesitantly putting his hand on Carl’s shoulder. “You have the right to be angry, pissed off, sad.”

Carl sits up, tired of laying down, and shrugs his shoulders. Patrick may believe it but Carl certainly doesn’t.

“What about Daryl and Rick?” Patrick asks, sensing Carl doesn’t want to talk about his mom anymore. “I can’t imagine they wouldn’t take your side; they love you way too much to ever think you were faking something like this.”

“They’ve been great,” Carl says with a slight smile. “They took my side immediately and I know they believe me. I’ve never seen them this angry, they want to kill Shane.”

Carl watches as Patrick nods. He’s got his thinking face on, the one he swears he doesn’t have but Carl has always been able to pick up on it. “And how are you doing?” Patrick asks. “I mean, I’m sure you’re not doing good but is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I’m fine,” Carl says, staring down at his crossed legs. “I already told you, it’s not that big of a deal. It happened, Shane’s going to trial, and I’m okay.” Carl’s lying through his teeth and he knows Patrick is going to notice, he just hopes he doesn’t dig in anymore.

Patrick gives Carl his look, the look that says he knows Carl is full of shit but he’s not going to bring it up unless Carl wants to.

“I have to be strong,” Carl says, picking at his nails again. “I can’t act like it’s affecting me as bad as it is, I have to protect them.”

“Nobody expects you to be strong, Carl,” Patrick says, taking Carl’s hand into his. “Nobody. Not me, not Daryl, not Rick. I may not have seen them in a while but I know they would never judge you for breaking down. What happened to you was horrible; it’s okay to not be okay.”

“They said I was handling it so maturely, Pat,” Carl says, looking at their joined hands. He hasn’t been a fan of touch since this stuff had happened with Shane but Carl really likes the way Patrick’s hand feels in his. “I mean, they're proud of me. How am I supposed to let them know that I'm dying inside?”

“Do you honestly think they _expect_ you to handle this maturely?” Patrick asks. “Carl, you know they wouldn’t fault you for breaking down. Showing your emotions, no matter what they are, and expressing your feelings doesn’t mean you’re not being mature. It means you’re being human.”

“I don’t want them to see me hurting,” Carl admits finally. “I don’t want them to see how bad this is affecting me; how bad it’s been affecting me since it started. I’ve hid so much from them, all the pain and the anger and the fear and the anxiety I’ve felt. I've let it out in small bursts but they have no idea how bad my thoughts are. I have to protect them. It hurts them to see me in pain; it pisses them off to think about what Shane has done to me; it scares them to think about the damage he’s caused. I just want them to be proud of me and prevent them from feeling pain.”

“They are proud of you, they have always been proud of you,” Patrick says. “Carl, Rick and Daryl are as supportive as they possibly could be. They love you, they would do anything for you, and if you think that showing emotion is going to change that than you really need to reevaluate your thoughts because that’s ridiculous.”

“I just don’t want to hurt them,” Carl says dejectedly. “They’ve already got enough problems to deal with because of everything that is going on, I don’t want them to worry about me.”

“Carl,” Patrick says carefully. “You have got to stop this, if you don't it's going to kill you. Rick and Daryl love you, you will always be their kid. Do you honestly think they'll stop supporting you if you show a little fear?

“It’s not that exactly,” Carl says, trying to figure out a way to explain it. “I mean, I want to protect them. But it’s more than that. If I focus on how their feeling, if I do everything I can to prevent them from feeling bad because of how I’m feeling, I don’t have to think about my emotions. It’s like… by focusing on how everyone else is feeling and doing things to prevent them from feeling that I don’t have to think about myself.”

“I get what you’re saying,” Patrick says, rubbing his thumb across the back of Carl’s hand, “and I can even see the appeal in that. But that’s not healthy and it’s definitely not good for you. You're pushing down your needs to cater to everyone else's and no one wants that from you. You shouldn't give yourself the brunt end of the stick simply because you feel the need to put everyone above yourself. You keep talking about how this has affected them, how you have to protect them, but what about yourself? How is that helping you? You’re important too, Carl, probably the most important person in this equation. I need you to understand that.”

“I can’t think about myself,” Carl says.

“Why?” Patrick asks. “What’s so bad about that? You have every right to be selfish right now. Not that this counts as being selfish, because it sure as hell doesn't. I'm just saying.”

Carl doesn’t want to answer, he really truly doesn’t. But he’s beginning to think he needs to. He feels so much pressure to be perfect and not let anyone see how he’s truly feeling. The weight of everything is crushing down on him and he really wants to talk to someone. He talked to Beth and that helped some but this is Patrick. He could tell him things he wouldn’t be able to tell his parents because he doesn’t want them to hurt like he hurts.

“Shane’s beaten me down for months now,” Carl finally says after a few minutes of contemplation, “fucking months. He's told me I'm pathetic, that it's my fault, that I deserved it, that no one would take my side. I've spent months thinking about this, _months_. I've pushed it far into the back of my head and locked it away where I was hoping I'd never have to see it again. I act like nothing happened because if I don't I will fall apart.”

“So you fall apart,” Patrick says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “You’re sixteen, for fucks sake.”

“Exactly!” Carl all but yells. “That’s the thing, I should be old enough to handle this maturely. I don’t need to break down because I’ve got this handled.”

“Old enough to handle this?” Patrick asks incredulously. “Carl, no one is old enough to handle this. It’s not something that comes easy as you get older, you can’t help but feel what you feel and there’s nothing wrong with that. How are you supposed to heal if you won’t let yourself feel?” 

“But I don't deserve to feel bad,” Carl finally admits, both to Patrick himself. When it comes down to it, Carl doesn’t think he deserves to feel like this. He’s so ashamed, but there’s no backing out now so he keeps his head bowed and refuses to look Patrick in the eye.

“What fucked up thing is that?” Patrick asks like Carl has every right to feel what he feels. But he doesn’t and that’s the problem.

“He did this to me for months,” Carl reiterates, “and I deserved it. I could have told someone, I could have fought back, but I didn't. He threatened me and the people I love, keeping me from telling anyone, but in the end I could have come clean a lot earlier and I chose not to. Even if I was threatened, I still made that choice. I'm pathetic and worthless and stupid and I don’t deserve anything I have because of it.”

"No," Patrick says with a note of finality. "That's the furthest thing from the truth. This isn't your fault, Carl, there's no way it could be considered your fault. Shane hurt you, he took advantage of you, and you didn't ask for that. You have every right to break down as much as you want because you had nothing to do with this, nothing whatsoever. I know you didn't like it, you didn't want it, you didn't ask for it. And I certainly know that you aren't pathetic or worthless. Why can't you believe that?"

Suddenly, all at once, the dam breaks and Carl _sobs._ He cries like he hasn’t cried since he was young, pouring all of his pain and his fear and anxiety into his tears. He’s cried a lot this week, twice in front of Daryl and Rick and a lot behind the closed door of his bedroom, but nothing compares to this.

A few seconds later Patrick has his arms wrapped around him, grip loose enough that Carl doesn’t feel caged but tight enough for him to know he’s there. It feels good to have his arms around him again and Carl can’t help but lean in to his chest.

The two of them sit like that for a several minutes, neither one speaking. It’s nice to just sit here with Patrick’s arms around him. Their relationship is hard to label; they aren’t dating but they’re a little bit more than friends. They’ve talked about progressing things but ever since what’s happened with Shane Carl has been hesitant to do anything.

"I love you," Patrick says, seemingly out of nowhere, once his crying starts to die down somewhat.

It startles Carl somewhat and he has to pull away. "What?"

"I love you," Patrick repeats, annunciating his words carefully enough that Carl knows there's no way he's hearing it incorrectly. Patrick takes a second to let those words sink in before he continues.

"You know that I do, we've been friends for so long and there's absolutely nothing you could do that would make me want to stop being your friend. If you think I'm going to suddenly stop wanting to be around you simply because I found out, you can stop right there because it’s not going to happen.”

Carl doesn’t know what to think. He’s shocked at Patrick's admission. While they’ve talked about their feelings for each other before, they’ve never come right out and said it so openly. It makes Carl nervous, he’s in no position to be starting a new relationship. He knows he feels something for Patrick but he’s not even sure what that something is. He loves Patrick, a hell of a lot, but he doesn’t really know what that means. At least not right now and he can’t begin to figure that out with everything that’s happening.

“I don’t know what to say,” Carl says, eyebrows knitting together.

“Don’t say anything,” Patrick says, quickly moving to reassure Carl. “I don’t want you to say anything because you feel you have to and I didn’t mean to spring this on you but I just had to say it. I know that we were talking about taking our relationship to the next level but you've been hesitant about it. I get that now. I don’t expect anything from you, not a single thing. I just need you to know that my feelings for you haven’t changed because of everything that’s happened. You’re still the same person, I don’t see you any differently and I absolutely don't expect anything from you. You're my best friend, Carl, that's what's important to me.”

“But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” Carl says, swallowing hard. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up for something that might never happen. I like you, you know I do, and I want to make something work. I just… I can’t, not now and maybe not ever.”

“Carl,” Patrick says gently. “If you just want to remain friends, I'm okay with that. Do I want to be something more? Yeah, you know I do. But, more than anything, I want you to feel comfortable. If that means I have to set my feelings aside for you, so be it. Your comfort is at the top of my priority list, it always will be."

"I don't think I'm ready for a relationship," Carl admits quietly after a few minutes of thought. "Just... not now. I need to figure some things out and I don't want you to waste your time on me. I still need you, Pat, a lot. Right now, just as a friend."

“We'll take it one day at a time,” Patrick says with a smile. “I’m always going to be here for you, that will never change no matter what you decide. You’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that.”

“Promise?” Carl asks, sounding like a toddler seeking validation. He hadn’t realized how worried he was about Patrick breaking off contact with him until now.

“I swear,” Patrick says, nodding his head. Carl smiles, a genuine smile, which causes Patrick to break out into a huge grin.

“So,” Carl says hesitantly, testing the waters. “Want to play video games or something?”

“If you mean do I want to kick your ass at video games than of course I’m in,” Patrick says, standing up and moving towards his game system.

“You are all talk and no bite, Pat,” Carl says with a laugh. “You know I’m going to kick your ass.”

“We’ll see about that, tough guy. I’ve been practicing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's very important to understand that Carl and Patrick's relationship isn't a "sex and romance fixes everything" kind of relationship. I'm really tired of that troupe. Their relationship is a "we like each other but we're going to remain supportive friends until we both are ready" kind of relationship. I imagine them eventually getting together but that's not going to be for a while, probably not even in this fic. Carl's got to work some things out first.
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is an idea that I've had since I first introduced Roxy a few chapters ago. I'm not sure if everyone is going to like it, or if it even makes much sense, because it may come off as a little boring. But, I feel like it's something that definitely needed to be addressed as it delves much deeper into Lori's mindset than any of the other chapters do. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: brief mention of postpartum depression and sexual assault though nothing is graphic - also a homophobic slur is used

Roxy parks outside of Shane and Lori’s house and turns the car off. She rests her head against the cool leather wrapped around the steering for a few seconds, trying to gain the strength she’ll need for what’s about to happen, before she heaves a heavy sigh and steps out of the car. She’s dreading the conversation she’s about to have, knowing it will most likely take an ugly turn, but she knows it needs to be done. It’s better her nephews be picked up by their aunt then CPS. Lori would hopefully understand that.

When she gets out of the car, Lori is sitting on the porch swing with a lit cigarette in her hand. She doesn’t say or do anything to acknowledge Roxy’s presence, though there’s no way she can’t clearly see her heading up the front pathway, and instead completely ignores her existence.

“I thought you were done with those things?” Roxy asks, coming to a standstill at the foot of the porch steps. “It took you years to quit and you know those things’ll kill you.”

“Yeah,” Lori says, shaking her bangs out of her eyes, “well, things change. I think I have every right to smoke right now, you don’t get to judge me for that.”

“I’m not judging,” Roxy says, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “It was just a simple comment.”

“I take it you’ve heard?” Lori asks, ignoring what Roxy had just said.

“I have, the whole town’s talking about it now,” Roxy says. It’s not a big town, word gets around quickly here, and Roxy had known almost from the second Rick and Daryl had taken Carl to the police station. “It directly involves my family, I’ve had everyone and their dog ask me if I knew what was going on.”

“Yeah well, the bored housewives need something to gossip about," Lori says bitterly as she takes another drag of her cigarette. "Can you believe this bullshit? Shane wouldn’t hurt Carl, he’s not that kind of person.”

“What kind of person?” Roxy asks, shifting all her weight to her left hip. She has a pretty good idea of where this conversation is about to go and Lori is not going to like the side she’s going to take; Roxy can already sense the fight that's about to brew between them.

“The kind that rapes kids,” Lori says, as if it were the most obvious thing someone could say. “There’s no way he would hurt Carl, not like that. He loves him too much to do something like that. He’s a cop, a husband, a father. Shane’s the type of person to take that seriously, he wouldn’t jeopardize anything by hurting Carl. He's a good person, good people don't do shit like that. At least not good people I know.”

“So you think Carl's lying?” Roxy asks, raising an eyebrow. “You think Judith is lying? What, do you seriously believe they just both decided to come up with this massive lie together? What would they even get from that?”

"No,” Lori says, sighing. “Carl wouldn’t lie about this, at least I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. He’s just not that kind of person. But he would lie about who did it if he was scared and didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell the truth.”

“Really?” Roxy says, incredulous. “That’s what you’re going with here? You seriously think that Carl, your son, would purposefully lie about the person who's hurting him? He wouldn't do that Lori, Carl wouldn't ruin someone's life like that for no reason.”

“It just doesn’t make sense!” Lori all but screams, tone of voice changing dramatically. “None of it makes sense to me and it just doesn’t add up. Shane isn’t gay; Shane isn’t attracted to kids; Shane has me; Shane wouldn’t touch Carl like that. He doesn’t need him, there’s no reason why he would do it. He wouldn’t hurt our son, Shane's not that type of person.”

“Lori, come –” Roxy starts, but is quickly cut off by Lori.

“But you know who is gay?” Lori asks, flicking the ash off her cigarette before taking another drag. “Daryl. I know Rick, he would never hurt his kids, but Daryl is a different story. Daryl is gay, he’s got a shady past, who knows what goes on in his head. I've never trusted him, he just rubs me the wrong way. How do we know he wasn't the one who hurt Carl? And then there’s Patrick. Carl swears Patrick wouldn’t hurt him but he’s also gay, probably hormonal, so maybe he lost control one day and things happened that shouldn't have. Or, maybe Carl's gotten a little confused about his sexuality considering he's surrounded by so many fags. There’s a possibility that experimenting or whatever it is teens do went too far and Carl doesn’t want him to get in trouble.”

“That’s complete and utter bullshit and you know it,” Roxy says, shaking her head. “I don't understand how you could possibly even try to justify what you just said. Patrick and Carl have been best friends since they were in diapers, you know he’d never do anything to hurt him. You can’t blame Daryl just because he’s gay and you can’t stand him. You’ve always hated Daryl and you resent him for how easy his relationship with the kids is. You don’t get to start pointing fingers at the people in Carl’s life that are gay and say they must be the ones who hurt him because you can’t accept the fact it was Shane. That’s not how sexuality works, Lori, and you know it.”

“Why is that such a far-fetched idea?” Lori asks, finally looking at Roxy for the first time. “Honestly? Why? You’re all so quick to point the finger at Shane without even thinking Carl may be lying when nothing adds up! Shane isn’t gay, he has me, there’s no reason why he would go after Carl. None of it makes sense and everyone is acting like I’m a horrible mother for bringing that up when I’m the only one thinking rationally about this! Carl's accusation doesn't make sense and I'm the one who's painted as a villain.”

“You know that’s not how it works,” Roxy says. She looks down at the cobblestone for a few seconds, staring at the perfect pattern underneath her feet, before she heads up the porch steps and sits beside Lori on the swing. “There isn’t always a rational explanation for why people do the things they do. You know very well there are plenty of men, and women for that matter, who have hurt kids like that for no apparent reason.”

“So what?” Lori asks, suddenly furious and pointing her rage directly towards her sister. “You’re going to side with them, believe everything they say? You’ve always loved siding against me, you’ve done it ever since we were kids. It didn’t matter what I said, you always said the opposite.”

“For fucks sake, Lori,” Roxy says, hardly able to believe what she’s hearing, “this isn’t about taking sides. It’s about uncovering the truth and helping Carl. This happened to Carl, his opinion is the only one that matters right now. He said Shane hurt him, I believe him and you should to. You stand by your kids when shit like this happens, no matter what. That’s what a good mother does.”

“Jesus, is everyone trying to punish me now?” Lori asks. “Even my own sister is trying to get back at me. I’m sorry I’m not the best mother, but I won’t sit here and just blindly accept the fact that my husband repeatedly raped my son in my own home without me ever realizing it. It couldn’t have been Shane, there's absolutely no way it was him. Carl’s just scared and hurt and pointing fingers at Shane to get back at me, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Why do you always jump to the conclusion that everyone is trying to get back at you?” Roxy asks, swiping her foot across the floor as the swing gently moves back and forth. She doesn’t understand why Lori’s excuse for everything is always that people must be trying to get back at her. “Seriously, it’s like you think people do things just to personally make sure your life is hell.”

In a way, there’s a part of her that understands why Lori is having problems accepting everything. It’s not an easy accusation to take. But at the same time, Carl is her son and the fact that she keeps insisting that he’s lying pisses her off. If one of her kids came to her and told her their dad, her husband, was hurting them, she’d put a stop to that shit right there. Because kids don’t make up shit like that and she couldn’t imagine ever not taking the side of her child.

 “It sure as fuck feels that way,” Lori says, looking out at the front yard. She takes one last drag of her cigarette before she stomps it out with her shoe. “This all just feels like a personal attack against me.”

“This is fucking ridiculous, Lori, and it’s getting out of hand. You know why you attribute everything that happens to you to your past actions? Why you always think everyone is trying to get back at you?” Roxy asks, pausing for only a few seconds before she starts talking again. “Because you feel guilty and you still blame yourself for what you put those kids through.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lori says, shaking her head. Her hands are clasped tightly together and she won’t meet Roxy’s eyes, clear signs that she’s not comfortable with this topic. Roxy doesn’t care, it needs to be said.

 “Oh yeah?” Roxy says, scoffing slightly. “You ruined your marriage by cheating on Rick, you ruined your relationship with your kids by walking out of their lives, and you devoted your entire life to Shane.”

“I was sick,” Lori says, gritting her teeth, as she turns to look up at Roxy. Roxy isn’t at all surprised to see the level of rage she has in her eyes. “That wasn’t my fault and you know it.”

“You’re right,” Roxy says, shaking her head. “You were sick; Postpartum Depression isn’t something to mess around with. But you don’t get to use that as an excuse for your actions. You started casually cheating on Rick before Judith was born, things just escalated with Shane afterwards because you couldn’t handle the stress of the new baby and your depression didn't make anything better. I know that was a hard time for you Lori, and Shane seemed to be your escape from it all, but Rick nearly worked himself to death trying to take care of you, Judith and Carl, and still keep his full time job. 

"But you didn't care," Roxy says, refusing to sugarcoat things to spare Lori's feelings. "Things seemed to get better for you. A couple months after Judith was born, you were starting to get better. You seemed happier, a little more carefree, you helped Rick out more with Judith. Maybe you weren't like how you used to be, but you were much better than directly after Judith was born. And that’s when you really fucked things up. You made shitty decisions that ended up costing you your entire family.

“You ran off with another man,” Roxy says with a heavy sigh, "because he was giving you something you couldn't get from a life with Rick and two kids. Maybe you thought you could actually win a custody battle against Rick when you filed a year after you left, despite the fact that you clearly weren't fit to take care of yourself let alone your own kids, and losing that case devastated you. You lost Rick, you lost your relationship with your kids, and you hated yourself for it.

"But that’s all on you," Roxy says softly. "You did that to your family, Lori. You broke them and you hate yourself for it. You know what you did was shitty so now when anything doesn’t go your way you automatically assume they’re trying to get back at you for your past actions. You still haven’t forgiven yourself for what you’ve done and you automatically assume that means nobody else has either.”

“Shut up,” Lori says, shaking her head. “Stop acting like you know me like that.” She tries to stand up, presumably to lock Roxy out of the house so she doesn’t have to deal with this conversation, but Roxy isn’t going to let that happen. She grabs Lori’s hand and pulls her back down so she’s sitting next to her one the swing once again.

“You need to hear this and you’re not leaving until I say what I need to say,” Roxy says, only letting go of Lori’s hand when she knows she’ll stay. “You ruined their lives, Lori, you know you did. Rick and Carl were a mess, you leaving hurt them so badly, and do you know who was there for them? Daryl. He was there for them, he has always been there, and he always will be there.”

Roxy lets that sink in for a few seconds, pleased to see that Lori seems to be paying attention to what she has to say, before she continues. “Daryl is a good guy who loves them more than anything and you hate him for it. He did what you weren’t able to do, what you will never be able to do. He stepped up. He took care of your kids and Rick and put them back together. You weren’t able to do that.

“Judith was just a baby, she didn’t know you until she was three years old, but Carl was old enough to understand what you had done to them and he wasn’t ready to forgive you. I think that’s the biggest reason why you always jump to that conclusion,” Roxy says, “why you always think everyone wants to get back at you. Because you hurt Carl more than you hurt anyone else and you were never able to fix that hurt.”

Roxy finishes everything she has to say and waits for Lori to say something, anything, even remotely relevant to what she had just said. She’s not sure how she’s going to take it, but Roxy is fairly certain Lori won’t appreciate her sister analyzing her either way.

“Is that why you came here?” Lori asks after a minute or two of contemplation. “Just to lecture me? I don’t want to hear it Roxy, I just want this all to be over already.”

“No,” Roxy says, sighing slightly. She's not surprised Lori has nothing to say, she's never done well when being confronted with anything remotely analytical of herself, but Roxy has a feeling Lori will like the real reason why she came here even less than the lecture. “I didn’t come here to lecture you; I came here to get the twins.”

“What do you mean you’re here to get the twins?” Lori asks, not at all impressed.

“With the accusations against Shane, and the fact that you’re letting him stay here, CPS is bound to get called and you know what that means. I think you’d much rather I take your kids home with me than have them taken away by CPS,” Roxy explains.

“You’re not taking my kids away from me and their father,” Lori says, all but growling, clearly furious. Roxy loves her sister more than almost anything but she really has to fight the urge not to deck her right now.

“I’m not taking your kids away, Lori, I’m just taking them to my house,” Roxy explains. “You’re welcome to come and see them as much as you want but Shane is not allowed anywhere near my nephews.”

“He’s their father,” Lori says, “what kind of twisted bitch is going to keep my kids away from their father?”

“Maybe we can work something out,” Roxy says after a few seconds of deliberation. She has no intention of letting Shane see the twins but right now she's willing to placate Lori with the idea possibilities. “Right now though, everything is fresh and new and traumatizing. CPS will be here and they will most likely take the kids away. While they will probably be taken to my house anyway, me picking them up now is a lot less traumatizing than having them forcibly taken from the home.”

Roxy can tell right away that Lori still isn’t a fan of the idea, but even she can’t argue this is the best thing for her kids right now.

“Fine,” Lori says, standing up to head inside. Roxy follows after her, completely ignoring Shane who’s sitting on the couch in the living room flipping through channels on T.V.. “I don’t like this, but it’s probably for the best. I’ll start packing their bags.”

She pauses at the foot of the stairs and turns to look back at Roxy. “They can stay with you but on three conditions. I still want to see them every day, we at least try to work out visitation for Shane, and absolutely no one is to say anything to them about what’s going on. They’re too young to hear about that kind of stuff.”

“Okay,” Roxy says, once again ignoring Shane as he comes into the hallway and leans against the wall. He doesn’t say anything, which is a little surprising, and Roxy likes it that way. She doesn’t want to hear his voice right now, she's not sure if she can contain the rage that's threatening to boil over every time she sees his disgusting face. “I think we can make that happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really a fan of this chapter but I've had most of it sitting on my computer for like a month now and I'm kind of tired of looking at it. Hopefully you enjoyed it.
> 
> As always comments, questions, and ideas are always welcome and you can come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize until after I had pretty much written this entire chapter that I had already written a short paragraph talking about Judith's interview. I tried to rewrite this chapter but I hated everything I wrote so I decided to just post this and rewrite the very beginning of chapter eleven. It's only the first paragraph so you don't have to go back and reread anything but I thought I should say something just in case anyone noticed and was wondering about it.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: there's very vague references to sexual abuse but nothing is graphic or really explained.

“Hey baby,” Rick says, sitting down on the stool next to Judith. She’s at their kitchen island finishing the rest of her breakfast. “Your papa and I have to talk to ya about somethin’ kinda important.”

Daryl’s in the kitchen putting the rest of breakfast away but he stops what he’s doing when he hears Rick start to talk. He knew Officer McDonald was supposed to call today to set up an interview time. Carl was still at Patrick’s house so now was the perfect time to do it.

“Does it have something to do with Carl?” Judith asks, turning to look at Rick. Daryl smiles sadly. Judith wasn’t very old but she sure was perceptive.

“Yeah, it does. There’s an officer I work with who wants to ask you a couple of questions about what you saw,” Rick says carefully. “You think you can do that?”

“Will it help Carl?” Judith asks after only a few short seconds.

“Yeah,” Daryl says, walking towards where Judith and Rick were seated. “It will help a lot and Daddy’s gonna be there wit’ ya the whole time.”

Judith is quiet for a few seconds before she slowly nods her head. “Are ya gonna be there, Papa? I want ya to come.”

“Course, kid,” Daryl says, unable to keep the smile from forming on his lips, as he fondly ruffles Judith’s hair. “Daddy an’ I are both gonna be wit’ ya; ya won’ have’ta do anythin’ by yerself."

“Okay,” Judith says with a soft smile. “I want Carl to be safe.”

“Okay, honey,” Rick says, pressing a kiss against the side of her head. Judith’s statement really isn’t needed, Rick knows the evidence is definitely stacked against Shane, but it’s always good to get as much as you can. Besides, she’s an eyewitness and the only reason Rick and Daryl had found out.

“Can I go play in my room?” Judith asks, already hoping down off the stool she’s sitting on.

“Yeah,” Rick says with a nod. “We don’t have to leave for a few more hours.”

“Okay,” Judith says before turning and skipping towards the stairs.

“She took that well,” Daryl says once he can hear Judith’s footsteps going up the stairs. “Should we be worried ‘bout that? She was pretty traumatized when she tol’ me what happened, I figured she might be at least a lil’ scared of talkin’ ‘bout it ‘gain.”

“I don’t know,” Rick says with a sigh. “Every kid is different; I honestly just think she wants to help protect Carl.”

“It could be she jus’ don’t realize exactly what we’re asking her to do,” Daryl says. “But she knows we’ll be there for her an’ we won’ let nothin’ happen to her.”

“Still,” Rick says, voice trailing off as he thinks. “Maybe we should take her to see someone? Just for one session, see how it goes. I think Michonne would sit down with her, she just opened up her practice and Judith does know her pretty well.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. Michonne’s good at bein’ discrete,” Daryl says, “she can make sure Judith feels comfortable an’ not like she’s bein’ evaluated.”

“I,” Rick says, pausing for a second before he continues once again. “I think it might be good for Carl to see someone too. You know, someone professional.”

“We can play it by ear,” Daryl says after taking a second to think. “See how it all goes ‘fore we do anythin’ drastic. When it comes’ta Carl… talkin’ to someone may help but we ain’t goin’ that route if it ain’t what he wants. I ain’t gonna be one’a those parents who forces their kid to see a shrink an’ talk ‘bout their problems if it ain’t what they want. I’m not gonna make him do something he ain’t ready for just ‘cause we think it’s what he needs.”

“I agree,” Rick says. “That’s Carl’s decision to make, not ours. He needs to know he has a voice and that what he says matters. We can talk to Michonne about Judith, see what she thinks. For now let’s just see how it all plays out.”

Daryl nods his agreement. He and Rick almost always see eye to eye and he’s glad they both agree on this topic as well. “Did McDonald say when he wanted us ta come in?” Daryl asks, changing the subject.

“He’s got enough time for us to come down before his lunch break. He wants us there at noon if we can make it,” Rick says. “I told him you would probably want to be there for it so I had to ask if you could get the time off first.”

“I’ll text Merle an’ tell ‘im I’m not comin’ in today,” Daryl says without giving it too much deliberation. Merle would understand, Daryl’s sure of it. He needs to make sure he’s there for his kids if they need him. “He can hold down the fort for the day, I might even take the next couple’a days off.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Rick says. “Besides, you haven’t taken time off in a long time.”

“I’ll take the next week off,” Daryl says. “I don’ know how things are gonna go so if I need ta take more time off afta’ that I’ll work somethin’ out.”

Rick’s quiet after that and he gets that look in his eye, the one he gets when he’s stressed out about something. Daryl doesn’t say anything, he waits to see if Rick wants to talk about it, and after a minute or two Rick speaks up.

“You think they’re gonna be okay?” he asks finally, worried lilt to his voice.

Daryl doesn’t have to ask for clarification, he knows he’s talking about the kids. “It’s gonna be hard,” Daryl says. “I mean, Lori is difficult an’ there’s gonna be a trial that Carl might hav’ta testify at. It ain’t gonna be easy, babe, but they’ve got us an’ Shane is gonna pay for what he did. There’s too much evidence against him.”

“I just… I feel like I can’t do anything,” Rick says softly, “like somehow I failed Carl and this is all my fault. I’m a cop, it’s literally my job to catch these sorta things, and I didn’t see it. I should’ve seen it, Daryl.”

“Carl is smart,” Daryl says, coming around the kitchen island so he’s sitting next to Rick. “He’s a smart kid an’ he didn’t want anyone ta find out so he hid it as best as he could. I wanna blame myself too, he’s our kid an’ we didn’ catch the signs, but the only one ta blame is Shane.”

“I know,” Rick says with a sigh. “Logically, I know that. I keep telling myself that but it’s hard not to blame myself.”

“I get ya,” Daryl says, wrapping an arm around Rick’s waist. He feels the same way as Rick, that somehow this is his fault and he’s failed Carl by not realizing what was happening sooner. “But blaming ourselves ain’t gonna help Carl any. He still has us, we ain’t ever gonna leave him, an’ eventually things’ll get betta.”

Rick leans against Daryl, pressing his face against the crook of his neck. “I know it’s just… I wish I could do more for him.”

“I know baby,” Daryl says, sighing heavily. “Me too.”

* * *

"Lori," Maxine greets with a wary smile. Lori can see she’s nervous by the way her eyes look up at her. She doesn’t really understand why her presence makes the receptionist nervous, it’s not like she’s ever done anything to Maxine. She doesn’t know her very well but they’ve always had a good standing relationship whenever they’ve run in to each other. "How are you today?"

Lori tries for a smile but fails, making her expression more of a grimace than anything else. Lori’s world is slowly falling apart chunk by chunk. She doesn’t have enough energy in her to keep up appearances, especially not in front of someone she apparently already makes nervous. "Oh, okay I suppose. Lots to complain about, it’s been incredibly… stressful, but I’m trying to keep it together. I need to speak with Officer McDonald, is he in right now?"

There’s an awkward moment where neither of them say anything and Lori frowns. It’s almost as if Maxine were debating on whether or not she should tell Lori the truth. Maxine breaks that in a few short seconds. "I believe so," Maxine says, Lori can definitely sense the hesitation in her voice now and she’s starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It’s almost as if she’s trying to keep something from her. "I know he had an interview scheduled for around this time but I can call and see if he's available if it's really that important."

“Would you, please? It’s pretty important actually and I really need to talk to him," Lori says, fingers tapping gently on the desktop, with a smile that’s a lot closer to genuine this time.

“Of course, I’m not sure if he’ll be able to meet with you last minute but we can always try him.” Maxine picks up the phone, dials a number, and speaks for a few seconds before she hangs up again. "McDonald just went on his lunch break, he said he can spare a few minutes to talk to you.”

"Fantastic," Lori says, stepping back slightly to wait for the officer. She only has to wait a few minutes before he makes his way through the doorway with a sub sandwich in his hand.

"Hey Lori," he greets her with a kind smile. "Maxine said you needed to talk to me?"

"Hey, Jonah, do you mind if we go for a walk or something? It'll only take a few minutes, I just want to have this conversation in private if I can," Lori says, gesturing towards the front entrance of the police station.

"Of course," Jonah says, glancing behind him for a few seconds before he follows Lori outside. His eyes linger a little too long on the doorway he had just come out of, almost checking to see if anyone was about to come out, and that makes Lori squint her eyes suspiciously. “Fresh air sounds pretty good right now.”

They walk down the front sidewalk of the police station and head towards the park across the street. Lori waits until they’re across the street and sitting on a park bench before she starts talking.

"So I'm sure you know why I'm here," Lori says. Jonah isn't an idiot, they’ve known each other for a while and Lori's sure he can put two and two together.

"I have a feeling it has something to do with Shane and his case," Jonah says.

"Yeah,” Lori says, shifting her weight so she’s turned towards him. “I mean. You know it doesn't make sense, right? It just doesn't add up. Shane wouldn't hurt Carl, you've worked with him for a long time and you know him pretty well by now."

"Listen," Jonah says around a mouthful of subway. "I've been a cop for a while now, almost sixteen years, and I've seen a lot of shit. Do you know how many people I talk to who say that exact same thing when their loved one commits a crime? I've heard it from children, from spouses, from parents, from siblings, from friends. Nobody wants to admit the people they love are capable of doing bad things, especially not something like what Shane has been accused of."

"Yeah," Lori says. She's smart enough to realize there's a lot of people who say the same thing that she's saying when someone they love commits a crime. But those people aren't Shane. Shane wouldn't do something like this, he just wouldn’t. Not to Carl, _not to her_. "But this is Shane we're talking about, Jonah. You guys are good friends. You were at our wedding, you guys play pool together, you and Karen were at our house for dinner not even two weeks ago."

"Lori, I -" Jonah starts but Lori cuts him off before he can say anything else.

"You need to arrest Daryl," she says, playing with her fingers. "I'm serious. It has to be him right? I mean, it can't be Shane. I know that, you know that, we both know that. Shane’s got to be innocent, there’s no way he did those things to Carl."

"Why on earth would we arrest Daryl when all the evidence points to Shane?" Jonah says, finishing the last of his sandwich and tossing the wrapper in a nearby trashcan.

"What do you mean why? Daryl is the most likely candidate, why am I the only one who sees this? I want him arrested for hurting my son, or at least interrogated. We don’t have all the facts yet; you can't just stop the investigation after one interrogation," Lori scoffs. "That's ridiculous."

"We haven't stopped the investigation Lori, but we have caught the right guy. Do you even know how much evidence we were able to collect against Shane? No jury in their right mind would ever believe he was innocent."

"You're basing that off a witness statement? Witnesses lie, even kids, especially when they're trying to protect someone. Carl is lying about who hurt him, I know he is. If he's lying about who it was, that means it's someone who is close to him. Rick would never hurt him, I know that, and the only other male adult he's close to is Daryl," Lori explains. "I think he's too scared to come forward and rat out Daryl so he's using Shane as a scapegoat."

"It's not just a witness statement, Lori," Jonah says with a sigh. "Judith's witness statement and Carl's victim statement paired with all the forensic evidence we were able to collect is enough to convict him. We can't arrest Daryl based on what doesn’t make sense in your head, not with all the evidence we have against Shane."

“Wait, Judith made an official witness statement and no one told me?” Lori says, suddenly infuriated. “Why wasn’t I consulted?”

“Daryl and Rick were with her,” Jonah says, staring intently at his sandwich. Lori could tell he was purposefully refusing to meet her eyes “I asked her if she wanted me to call you and she told me no. She already had Rick and Daryl with her, she didn’t need another parent there when she gave her statement. Besides, I needed to hear her side of the story without you there trying to convince her that she had to be making it up.”

“You should have told me,” Lori says, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. She was angry alright, angry that Rick and Daryl had gone behind her back and taken her daughter to get interviewed without even telling her. But she was also hurt, hurt that Judith didn’t apparently want her there in the first place.

“Even without Judith’s statement,” Jonah says, “they evidence we collected is enough to convict him. I know this has to be hard for you but you need to face the facts Lori, you’re hurting your kids by staying in denial.”

"Evidence is easy enough to plant," Lori says, her fear of losing her husband fueling her delusions. "It's possible the evidence was faked."

"How many people are you going to include in on this conspiracy to frame Shane before you realize the truth?" Jonah asks, trying to make his words sound less harsh than they do. “You're saying our forensic analyst is lying, Carl is lying, Judith is lying and now you just accused the police force of planting fake evidence. You need to admit to yourself what's happening here because you're going to end up losing your family if you don't."

"You're supposed to be our friend," Lori says, ignoring most of what Jonah had to say. "This is not how you treat your friends."

"I'm a cop first," Jonah says, sighing heavily. "This system is easily corrupted, there's a lot of people on the force who are taking your guys' side even with all the evidence out there, but I'm not. I go where the evidence goes and right now, it's pointing towards Shane. I can't let the word of a delusional mother get in the way of what is clearly evident."

"I'm not delusional!" Lori says, scowling. "I'm sorry that I can't just stand here and accept the fact that my husband is a child molester. I can't turn my back on Shane and I won't."

"Lori, enough," Jonah says, trying not to let the frustration show in his voice as he glances at his watch. "I'm sorry but my lunch break is just about over and I need to get back to work. I'm sorry that Shane has done this and I'm sure you're having a hard time, but I'm not going to arrest an innocent man because you're having problems accepting reality. It’s pointless to go to any of the other officers as well, they have no grounds to arrest Daryl and they aren’t going to risk their jobs no matter whose side they’re taking."

“So you’re not going to help,” Lori says, glaring as she stands up quickly. “What kind of friend are you?”

“Am I going to help you arrest an innocent man?” Jonah asks, throwing his wrapper in a nearby trashcan. “No, I am not. I’m a cop, Lori, a really good cop and that means something to me. I’m not going to tarnish my reputation because you can’t accept what Shane has done. Daryl didn’t touch your kid and I honestly think it’ll be best for everyone, especially for yourself, if you learn to accept that. You don’t want to risk losing your kids because of this.”

“Why did I think coming to you would be a good idea?” Lori huffs. “If you’re not willing to help me, I’m going to have to find someone who will.”

“Lori, don’t do anything you’re going to regret. That family has been through enough already, they don’t need anything else tacked on,” Jonah says. Lori doesn’t say anything, she just turns on her heel and strides towards where her car is parked.

Jonah is no help and she knows he has a point, none of the other officers are going to arrest Daryl if it looks like everything they have points to Shane. She’ll just have to find someone who’ll help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments, questions, and ideas are always welcome and you can come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starkidjoshler)


End file.
